Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
whiskey'swino 15
Whats it like working at the WWE?
sourgirl101 29
Should have done what a normal person would do and break out your cellphone and record it. When there’s a question of who was the instigator you’ll have evidence.
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Comments (8)
whiskey'swino 15
Whats it like working at the WWE?
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Damn. You beat me to it! 🤣
RichardPencil 32
And now you’re about 8 months pregnant! It was smarter to not get involved and risk losing your job.
sourgirl101 29
Should have done what a normal person would do and break out your cellphone and record it. When there’s a question of who was the instigator you’ll have evidence.
GUYMAINE 16
OPA!!
A Frenchy in Eire 31
I hope you're going to press charges. That was a serious assault and they could have caused you brain damages or worse.
zuckerburg 21
Why involve yourself in a fire-able offence? is the job offerings piling up that you can just do whatever?
Razell 13
See, the proper response is to throw a bucket of water on them.