Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pommy_fml 0
don't be a baby. cut his junk and yell 200 points!
slowlybreakingme 14
wow. that's ****** man!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
KurouTenshi 0
this is when you fight fire with fire, and hit one of them in the face with a frying pan. as they fall to the floor in pain (or concussion) you shove them into an oven, and bake on high for 15 minutes at 450 degrees Farenheit. don't forget to yell "100 points!!"
Biohazard41 0
LOL
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Being that elaborite, I think it would be worth more points than that.
TattedDownJah 2
That is jus ****** up.. funny but ****** up.... Lmao
gummiworms 0
why would they do that
sarebear123 0
learnt? and you must be on hell of a douche bag for them to do that! lmao
Married_mama 0
Staple someone's hand and then yell, "100 points!"
gregsdaman 0
that's worth atleast 101
xH_Ax 0
SUE THE BASTARDS!! don't forget to take pictures of ur hands and visits the DR so u can show how bad u were hurt,, dnt take it lightly the more u wre hurt "mentally" and fiscally the more money u'll get ;) Might as well make money out of all the hate!
bunny911 16
fisically?? ftw...
Vitamin_C 0
I think they meant fiscally as in the more money you spent on doctors' bills etc.
doughertyz 1
#38 fiscally=financially But seriously. Sue them up the ass
xNephilim 19
Fisically = physically, you morons.
VeryNice329 0
ok I read a lot of comments you peole leave and you can also be annoying. does that mean I can dump boiling hot water on you for my amusement??? none of you would be thinking it was funny then. maybe you should start looking for a new job op... huh?
Tamara2011 0
Very funny, you should start your own game :)
perdix 31
Can customers play? Does mental and verbal abuse count? I could probably come in and comment about your cooking that would earn me hundreds of points. And the rest of your co-workers would carry me around on their shoulders. Good thing I didn't mention the dirty fork.
fisheatsbear 6
"accidentally" throws knives at op, oops