Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Today, my dad and stepmom came back from a very expensive two-month trip across the world. When they got home, they had more gifts for their cat than for me. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
golden_warrior 23
someone is not getting a gift on Father's Day
flashback.miss 28
My dad had an awesome time in Arizona and all I got was this lousy lotion. When his birthday rolls around, be sure to return the favour.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
hienzburgess 9
LMAO I guess now you know you're the least fave
Iceman225 11
slap that little f***** in the face.
hemz_fml 13
It's the thought that counts.
Orion1434 5
And he seems to have not put too much thought into hers, just everyone else's
lennelleong 33
Well, he's still paying for your college right? So don't dwell on it. Unless he isn't.... then u can start speculating that something's wrong (u were adopted/mom had an affair/u were rude to him) and favouritism's afoot.
liblob 6
he prob thought she didnt know it was free. and maybe couldnt find anything for op.
hienzburgess 9
HA! ^
RoboCunnilingus 23
A chain of fail.
feelingold 18
...Those little lotions are only good for one thing............
flashback.miss 28
My dad had an awesome time in Arizona and all I got was this lousy lotion. When his birthday rolls around, be sure to return the favour.
hienzburgess 9
aren't you supposed to reply with song lyrics?
CocaColaPepsi 13
I don't know why people thumbed you down I thought that was funny, but just in case you don't know, " I thought you were supposed to reply in song lyrics" he's talking about her name.
spanelli 16
I guess you didn't read her description...
ohSNAPyall 27
No, I was too distracted by the leech in her eye.
spanelli 16
Hmm, indeed. I sat here staring at it for a while, also.
FMLbutYDI 17
Hey, free lotion!
SaxophoneHero 12
Not just any free lotion, ARIZONA HOTEL LOTION!
golden_warrior 23
someone is not getting a gift on Father's Day
itsmichellebitch 16
He shouldn't get a gift. But if he needs one regift the lotion and tell him you loved it so much, but you are sure he would love it more than you do.
websphere69 27
slippery....
Julianne_sings 10
I hope you kept that in mind when you selected his Father's Day present! Perhaps you should re-gift the lotion?
kzai 16
He must love you a lot!
MolesterStallone 13
Better than nothing I guess....
PrussiaisAwesome 15
not really now op cant pretend their dad forgot.
Zimmington 21
27- maybe he did forget (which would be worse than nothing) and the lotion was still in his bag.
cuppycakeslove 20
It's the thought that counts.....? Naaah
bfsd42 20
Aaaaaaagh! Duck face!
cuppycakeslove 20
I think it's more of a pout (:
drjohnnyboy 15
Did he also give you hotel tissues? If he did, then if I were you, I wouldn't use either of them.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ew, c'mon now, it's her father
AFloppyWetWhale 6
At first I thought Op was a boy, and that it was a perverted joke... kinda like my name