Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, a colleague was talking about how she'd made some tomato sauce from scratch for her dad, but then he died before she could give it to him. I said she should have put it in the casket with him so the cremation would've been a real barbeque. My filter is broken. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore." FML
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML
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Top comments
irateyou 9
Bury him. Bury him quickly.
cynicalhumanist 9
Ask her if she realy wants to shit her own dog out.
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Comments (114)
irateyou 9
Bury him. Bury him quickly.
ClassyCommando 13
Give it to your Chinese neighbour.
Lucia_Malpense 14
But what if OP's sister digs up the dog and cremates it herself?
ClassyCommando 13
May I ask which rule in the Commenting Policy I broke that led to my comment being moderated?
irateyou 9
That's a rule?
ClassyCommando 13
That is not on the commenting policy, and even if it was, where do you draw the line? Is a joke about drunken Irishmen or fat Americans or polite Canadians unacceptable also? And Chinese isn't a race.
alphaskater09 9
My puppy just died too. I hate death.
irateyou 9
Sometimes the best way to honor a passing pet is to save a life by adopting another one from your local shelter in his/her honor. I'm sorry for your loss. I know it sucks.
oj101 33
Or go scatter his ashes in a doggy park.
weezyFbabylegend 5
Sounds like your girlfriend was on my strange addiction. If she ever wants to reveal any secrets, be scared.
weezyFbabylegend 5
Sister*
Leprekhaun 14
Stay away from protein powder ;)
stolencookie 17
Yeah, but avoid all red meats as well. What if she gets smart, skips the whole cremation step, and just prepares the corpse for consumption? Saves money on both services AND food! D:
sens3sfailing 25
And the ashes would only be inside of them for a day or so. Then it would be shit...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Wouldn't that make it....dog shit?
lilhellian 27
A certain lil puppy is getting creeped out! D:
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Sorry lil guy!
B5B0N35 18
um your dog might be in you food .....dog food
wellfuuucckme 7
You ten year old little ****
pieman528 10
That made absolutely no sense. Wait maybe.. No no, absolutely no sense at all.
Sputnikspak 13
Actually, cheaper brands of pet food that say they are made with 'meat meal' or 'meat by-products' is just a gentle way of saying 'dog and cat meat'. So technically, if the dog wasn't cremated, it could be dog food. >.> Comes from euthanized animals, and even if they specify meat, most of the meat that goes in is from dead, dying, and diseased animals unfit for human consumption. I worked in and around the pet food industry ten years. My dog eats raw. That should tell you something. >.>
billyz77 24
That's just sick. Bury that poor animal before your sister gets to it.
pieman528 10
But what if the dog's dying wish to the sister was, "Canine be inside of you?"
lacrosseplaya 13
Do not eat anything she makes for you!
cynicalhumanist 9
Ask her if she realy wants to shit her own dog out.
jesustitts 20
She might get excited thinking she'll shit a live dog!
willbur73q 7
Wow 56, weirdest mental image of the day...
Cavebone 5
I canine't believe she would even consider that.
irateyou 9
I think that was a stretch...
Pewppew 1
I lol'd
jesustitts 20
It's ruff to make a good pun these days.
alwaysmadi 9
reminds me of that strange addiction episode where a lady ate her husbands ashes, you know totally normal
rgriff27 19
It's like sprinkling on weight loss powder.
Lizza330 28
I'm pretty sure ashes can kill you if you eat them. So that's really not a good idea. Not to mention it's really creepy too. I think you should make your own food for a while until she forgets het idea.
calivianya 29
I doubt it. We eat burned things all of the time (check out the little black spots the next time you eat grilled chicken), so at most it could possibly be uncomfortable. Unless the dog had all kinds of embalming fluids and chemicals in her at the time.
B5B0N35 18
you miss speled her
CharresBarkrey 16
Eating ashes can't kill you. Mostly all that's left after cremation are minerals. It's not like you're eating the person or animal, it all gets burned to basic elements.
doodlecloud 27
Yeah, in some tribes it's part of the funeral ritual to make a soup using the dead person's ashes and then everyone from the town takes a sip. So no, it won't kill you and actually she's not the first person to have this idea.
etchsanity1 11
Uhm yeah ashes won't kill you in some areas they eat the charcoal left over after burning wood to clean their teeth even. After being burned to ash it's basically just carbon residue nothing else really which is why you cannot get DNA samples from cremated remains.
love_me_electric 20
Charred meat is a carcinogen. I'm assuming eating ashes would have the same effect. It probably wouldn't kill you but it's definitely not good for you either.
krazykyra 12
You misspelled misspelled..?
goodoldave 17
Right, so if you have tendencies of chasing cars and sticking your head out the window... It might be more than you just being an idiot.