Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
emilily23421 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahaha
ilovenickmyers 0
not **** your like. FML I am the white one.
twinny_sc 13
If your mom did that to me I would kick her racist ass.
XxXMetalChicXxX 0
why would she even speak to one?
956TXking 0
racism FTW
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
BeeHappy_fml 0
LMFAOO 32^^ Hispanic girl angry. you no like when angry. burrito.
phantom956 2
thanks mom you're helping so much
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
hotscar 3
that's actually really disrespectful.
956TXking 0
mas puto
gabbster95 0
puto quien??
956TXking 0
Your mom is ignorant.
NuMuzik 0
there are alot of closet racists here....wonder if they would the same in their own life or scared of what would happen.
eazyeeze 0
Your ignorant bitch mom needs to get her hole stretched by a "non-white"
hippiechick96 3
32 that made me laugh xD
dudeitsdanny 10
Tell her to take the hot burrito out of her ass and stop talking like a retard. I'd be offended. I'm not white(really, I just seem it), and I speak proper English. Let's beat her with eggrolls, hard shelled tacos, and watermelon! And whatever stereotypes I'm missing.
HeatherXCore 0
34- Taco taco guacamole?
nisey3313 11
lmao I think u got them all
KBruce317 0
don't forget fried chicken
khadijah32594 3
yea im offended to white mommy
nisey3313 11
we opted for watermelon instead of fried chicken...were going to eat the fried chicken
KBruce317 0
Oh good! I like fried chicken too much to waste on beating a racist bitch. watermelons can suck it
ninjacapo 2
im not even black and im offended.
cstrat 0
I can't imagine her continuing to do so after the minorities respond with regular English. Either way that's hilarious. I bet some of them think she's retarded.
igloo777 0
lol
musicmaker97 0
94- how the heck r u not white?
caju_fml 0
cute!
zeebug 0
People have done that to me before. It's extremely rude, but also hilarious after I tell them I'm getting my PhD in English literature at Stanford. Awkward silence ensues. Lol.
VegasSkiess 0
lol do u have like a white dog fetish?? hahhahaha jk:p they're kute
vtranchitella14 3
lol 32, glad you have a sense of humor about it. but in all actuality, it isn't racism, just ignorance or a feeling of insecurity.
Janglur476 0
wow you look amazing
JayColt 0
94 Win x2
v_garcia3 0
suuure u know u hid the mixed brown one on purpose!!! :-p
tiffyc011 0
Black girl wants mommy to suck a stiff one
degrassilovur 0
what. a. bitch.
JohnGraveline 0
That bitch needs to go to Hell.
SelfGenocide 0
win
Generalx3 0
When strangers talk to me, I fake an accent so they think I don't speak English. Instead of going away, most of them talk like I'm stupid. So then I give up on the accent, they realize I'm NOT fob, get offended, and leave. Buahaha. >:D
HeroOfMi 0
lmfao! so 189 puts the brown and white dog up XD
cherylface 13
148: Just because someone looks white doesn't mean they are. My boyfriend is a light-skinned Hispanic and he looks like your run-of-the-mill white guy. That doesn't change his ethnicity or heritage in the least...
HeroOfMi 0
how many dogs do u have anyway?
TheNewGuy03 29
i thought of the same thing >< |the kid|
jaidonsafira 0
I don't know why this is **** OPs life, is there more to the story? Does OP have a non-white best friend or boyfriend? If so then **** their lives.
jaidonsafira 0
She means she talked condescendingly to anyone who isn't white.
zakh508 0
34 + 32 = lol I'm white, I have nothing to say in caveman
syddyb 0
239: don't use big words for that guy XD If he doesn't get the FML then he won't understand big words.:) just kidding, sort of :))
hazzbot 7
shows the White American stereotye
cherrypieguy 0
hahaha isn't a comment
emilily23421 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yeah. it is. anything I feel like writing is a comment. because it's my COMMENT. get it, dumbass? and I find it funny, hence the haha.
cherrypieguy 0
Aren't you badass calling someone a dumbass over the internet? Seriously get the **** out.
1221jamw 11
19- You fail. big
emilily23421 0
Nope, I'm not. I just find it utterly ridiculous that you felt the need to call my comment false. Clearly, it's right there, so it is a comment. Don't like to be called a dumbass? Correct someone correctly next time. You just look like a douche when you try and prove someone wrong, when you are very wrong yourself.
tb15 0
this won't end well.
lord_of_yaks 0
oh crap the trolls have come out to play
the_ace1337 0
emilily for the win!
GeneralCha 3
I'm giving this FML fight to #1 lol
cherrypieguy 0
il be the one laughing when your "comment" gets modded.
5t3ff1k4h 47
#1, you have a point, but so does #2. You made a comment. It is physically there. Therefore it is not a fake comment since it does exist and is very real. HOWEVER. #2 probably meant to say your comment was pointless, which it was. I'm taking #2's side on this one; pointless comments are, well, pointless.
emilily23421 0
(:
NikkJachim 0
Hey cherrypieguy, **** off. You say her comment "isn't a comment." The puspose of a comment is to say what you thought when you read the FML. When she read it, she thought "Hahaha." It is a comment. You're ******* worthless, and a disgrace to a good song.
illmatic2 16
I agree with #2 as well. Your comment was lame.
AlterFukiinRoccz 0
emily justt shutt upp..
Ducati4623 0
commenting about commenting about an argument about commenting is as lame as original commenting argument about different commenting.
JayColt 0
1 ure a dumbass
HeroOfMi 0
eh, I gotta go with #1 on this...#2 needs to realize bitching is just going to start a pointless fight..there will be other people saying "hahaha"...if you'd think for a sec, you'd realize "hahaha" is the same as "this one really made me laugh XD" which is what people tend to say a lot without anyone getting mad.....
Generalx3 0
I'm going with number one. She can do whatever she wants and the comment IS there; no denying that. She wins. this is a dumb argument.
edgarforeverRIP 0
Pointless trolls are, well, pointless.
gabbster95 0
it started of good in the begnning until everyone started picking sides .... just let them fight it off so we can laugh at the loser.
firecopy 6
hahaha
LookinLikeDrake 0
god I love FML
spiderman0606 0
@229 Ahhh I see what you did there *points*
cherrypieguy 0
omg my comments aren't showing Im trying to tell number 195 that saying haha is just quickly typing something to be first. I had very witty examples too.
bc_ramirez08 0
Sux to have such a retarded mom. FYL
Fuckme19 0
at least you don't take it to offense:P
NikkJachim 0
The black guy said it's funny! Your mom is off the hook! Haha :D
abcdefghijKayla 0
why would he take it to offense...? oh. right.
srunano 4
Lol I laughed at the "oh.right" part....but still it probably shouldn't be labeled as racist, to me it sounds like she is more ignorant than anything...but maybe I am wrong
NailahBabe 0
IMO, racism stems from ignorance. That's just me.
squirrels_FTW 3
funny as hell
pinkfloyd222 0
I have nothing to say I just wanted to comment cause it says I'll be number 4 and I have no life
darthprecious 0
hilarious, your mom rules!
kewlmaveric 0
..that's not even a comment at all.
r3ckm3n 0
hahaha funny mom
KBruce317 0
You should beat your mom over the head with a burrito
squirrels_FTW 3
Paco wants a taco!
KBruce317 0
paco deserves a taco!
squirrels_FTW 3
arriva! arriva! me gusto taco mucho!
IHaveThePower 18
I think you mean: "Arriba! Arriba! Yo como un taco!" Note: This is what you say to Spanish racists or white racists to make fun of them, not an actual phrase to order a taco. If you want an actual taco, say: "Uno taco, por favor?".
squirrels_FTW 3
lol.......:)
Dawgsays 0
That's profiling