Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
TickleMeTroy 1
NO. Just, no. Leave Bowie out of this.
sillycart 9
Aww who thumbed my comment about josh down :(. I'm just stating the facts.
sillycart 9
No one here gets humor noor. Megan fox and jhutch are both hot people. People need to calm down and take a joke. Apparently only u and me get sarcasm.
The_Hitdude 12
36- Me disagreeing with yiu does not make me a troll. And fanboy? This isn't a ******* video game. I was stating a fact. Someone mentioning turning gay does not automatically make them a homophobe. That word is abused more than I can say, including your case. You guys can continue to thumb me to hell, but I stand by my statement.
The_Hitdude 12
*you.
laden_swallow09 35
Earth to Tom. Earth to Tom. Major Tom, do you read?
laden_swallow09 35
I didn't read 16's comment before I wrote mine. Sorry, guys.
PANDALEGIT 8
Wtf is your problem
Heyface 2
Talk about a diehard fan...
georgeamb2 0
You must be an Asain mother lol
DocBastard 40
You must be a stereotyping twit.
DocBastard 40
Here's an idea for you - leave your daydreaming to your midnight masturbation sessions. While you're piloting a 2000 kg missile loaded with highly explosive fuel and surrounded by similar missiles, KEEP YOUR ******* EYES AND BRAIN ON THE ******* ROAD.
bjg1009 3
Look out folks we have a badass over here.