Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
elephantom12 9
Get your head out of your ass when you're driving and focus on the road, you could have killed your daughter as well as someone else.
asaa1212 0
Major Tom can you hear me, I think we have a problem
cc_the_beast 6
This is ground control to major Tom, you just ran that stooooop sign, and your skidding in a most peculiar waaay...
omgcookeys 15
Lol I like how it says op's a dude.
linkinpark98 24
Who even gets so enticed in a daydream, that they run a red light AND almost hit another person anyways?
The_Hitdude 12
Yeah....my bad.
dhwig 0
STOP: Straight Through on Pavement
glharmony 0
Google Images just informed me YDI.
quinz 4
If you have to use Google to see who David Bowie is, you don't get a say...
stormer461 13
25 - You can know who David Bowie is but not know what he looks like. I've listened to my fair share of Bowie and I still had to look his picture to confirm or deny his sexiness.
immaMonsta 8
Um...wow. David Bowie? Really? I'm sure he'd be charmed if he knew you ran a stop sign and almost got in a car crash because you were daydreaming about him -_-
ssnowywinter 0
I'm sure he'd be charmed, too. I mean, I'd be charmed if that were me.
linkinpark98 24
And turn gay men straight. :P
mintcar 10
You definitely didn't have to admit to that.