Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML
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Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)
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Comments (186)
cott0nballs 7
Megan Fox is ugly. Mila Kunis is the best.
merko 8
well he is a hunk...
omzz05 2
DJ CLITTER ... I'm the ovary buster
THExistentialist 13
bitch (Kayla?) Iwas going to drag you by your FACE through the cold concrete of suffragette city for being so blatantly retarded, but it wouldnt be enough. So let me just sit and hope that Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars will come tear your wench-ass heart out instead.
itsame0987 18
Guys guys.. You need to leave Kayla alone. Sea from Jersey and only likes gorilla juice heads with burned out braincells. And op ydi 1 for daydreaming while driving and 2 for actually admitting it to your daughter. You could have said you were daydreaming about her mom or something.
ajeppsen 25
Are you a guy or girl if you are a gut F your daughters life
corleon198425 22
David Bowie called and said your not one of his heroes
TheThree 0
I love the fact OP is a male...
docscientist 10
How could anyone not recognize this as a clear joke. I'm really glad I don't have to deal with new people on a daily basis.
Zya_fml 8
The funny thing is that all your comments are stupid and really suck Kayla. We'd all appreciate if you come back in a few years when you have actually matured enough to leave decent comments. - All FML commenters and viewers.