Today, my 9 year-old son told me that sometimes he gets stiff “down there.” I assured him that it’s perfectly normal, but then he added that it only happens when he hears his stomach growling. Um, what? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
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Top comments
IHaveThePower 18
His body won't connect any of that stuff until puberty. Don't worry too much, he's fine.
cacheson 42
That young it’s basically the body testing out the mechanisms anyway, it doesn’t have to make sense why yet. It could easily be the vibrations from his digestive system stimulating other nearby organs.
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Comments (7)
cacheson 42
That young it’s basically the body testing out the mechanisms anyway, it doesn’t have to make sense why yet. It could easily be the vibrations from his digestive system stimulating other nearby organs.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like the beginning of a fetish.
Yudith 28
Jughead Jones; The early years.
IHaveThePower 18
His body won't connect any of that stuff until puberty. Don't worry too much, he's fine.
HokieJ 10
I've heard of a fear boner (check out The League) but maybe this is a burger boner!
magnumpeyote66 6
So he is like Matthew McConaughey