Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Yep and...YOU married him.
LadyGore 12
Now you need to come up with a way to get him back even grosser. Make him regret doing it and see the humor in it, not the disgust. :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
Spectre529 12
at least he has humour =)
supportcommand 17
Next time you 69 let one rip on him. Sorry. Was that too far?
PipingMouse 14
Yes. That is disgusting. It would ruin the mood.
Suks2beeme 7
It WOULD be sweet revenge, mood killer or not.
PipingMouse 14
True :P Still gross though.
Ikickmidgets 11
I do the same thing to my fiance! she'll wait until I'm asleep to get me back...just fight dirty, he may learn....or not, I didn't learn!
GothickNihilist 15
Let's hope it stops at just farting .
maskedman 9
Whenever a guy asks you to spoon HIM expect something inappropriate to happen.
pregnantpianist 2
My
MidnightKnight 6
Your...?
Welshite 40
His.
TheFirstSamurai 18
Her.
pregnantpianist 2
Lol I meant my bf does the same thing except he pins me and farts on my face, chest and stomach. :P
Soloman212 28
Oh, of course that's what you meant. How could I not have gotten that?
THExistentialist 13
100 is your profile for real? the same is true for me. we should be junkie firend like.... people.
pregnantpianist 2
My iPod ****** itself in the middle of me typing. My bad.
Kaatosade 9
He's a keeper!!
chellyX92 8
Obviously, she married him.
Iknowsomestuff 9
Let him fork you and then knife him. I don't know why I wrote that.
Suba_fml 8
Awesome husband you got there
JustKittyKat 24
My girlfriend does this to me. xD
PipingMouse 14
Oh...that's interesting?