Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
CoachBangWhore 5
That's why you don't let a toddler get to second base on you
nursestudent 5
That sucks ;)
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Comments (128)
nursestudent 5
That sucks ;)
Typholsion 4
Of all the things you could say, you pick this?
max_wilder 9
This comment sucks
ALlamaOnFire 20
7 - your comment or number 1's? Doesn't really matter, they both suck:) 1 - there is a button for that;)
MetalxSoldier 26
I think the real question is why would you let a two month old suck on your neck?
innavoiG 9
Stop bitching about 1's comment. We know it's pointless, get over it...
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
it's just a comment people..move along now..
SenselessPattern 12
How many people missed 1's pun? At least two of you have. I'm pretty sure the winky face indicates punny-ness.
walmartpaysme 15
Seriously, this was one of the few times someone could say "That sucks" and have it actually mean something and most of you missed it.
MDTeddy 13
@Op First of all, your mom doesn't love you or she wouldn't have told him. Secondly, that is all.
devandanae 11
When a baby nurses they suck on everything when they are hungry.
SammyS2012 21
80- a mother should not condone her daughter cheating on a significant other. I would hope my boyfriend's mom would tell me if my boyfriend was cheating and vise versa (granted that they had proof of course). Plus, the mom didn't think her daughter cheated.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
It was none of the stupid mother's business in the first place. She should keep her shit-stained nose out of other people's asses.
walmartpaysme 15
111 - If OP lives in her mother's home and is under 18, it IS her business.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
16, for me in Australia. Its not illegal for her to be kissing him, retard. And if you really think people wait till 18 to have sex with each other these days then you are a moron.
ryuprincesd 0
#101 ive had two breastfeeding babies and neither sucked on peoples necks
mommy2cassidy 18
I've had a breastfeeding baby and she didn't suck on my neck but she did suck on my chin. Just because your babies didn't doesn't mean other babies don't.
freshberries22 17
Sorry op your boyfriend hung you out to dry before even getting your side of the story. You might want to consider letting him go if he's so quick to jump to conclusions.
simonsaysYDI 8
Oh like there's a million okay excuses for a hickey and he's the only guy in the world that would jump to that. You shouldn't just accuse someone, but I'm assuming they're younger, and not all people have a handle on their jealousy when they're young. Shouldn't dump someone you supposedly care about because they think you cheated without spending the time to show/explain you didn't =/.
ryanebk 7
Girls lie And cheat. Get over it. Even if not in action, maybe in mind. Lusting over other guys
Sasha693 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guys can be the same way. People only cheat when there's a problem with the relationship they're in. And everybody fantasizes about other people when in a relationship unless you act on those feelings there's nothing wrong with it
Hiimhaileypotter 53
46- I guess I'm weird, then? Because I don't fantasize about people who aren't my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years next April.
SenselessPattern 12
Ma'am, is that a strawberry in your mouth? Why aren't you eating it?
vcapelo 19
Cheating should never be the first thing on your mind if you see a hickey on your boy/girlfriend. If you can't trust your partner enough to think that there must be a reason for things like this other than cheating, you shouldn't have a partner. A relationship is not about making sure your partner is not cheating, it's about trusting your partner and give him/her the benefit of the doubt!
flyninja17 1
Theres always a reason to 'let a significant other go' it seems
biggestfan23 11
#46 people only cheat when there's a problem in the relationship? Hahahahahahaha
walmartpaysme 15
46, you need to get out of that fantasy land you live in. Some people are douche bags who don't give a **** about anything but getting laid. Doesn't matter the gender, sexuality, race, or ethnicity. Scum bags come in all different packages. People can have the perfect relationship and they will still cheat.
thatonename 7
Hey, us scumbags take that offensively. Cheaters are at least half a step below us.
Sasha693 4
I'm not saying that every situation is the same when it comes to cheating. In my experience people only cheat when there's something wrong. There can be situations where someone in the relationship only cares about getting laid. I didn't mean to make it seem like that was the be all end all. And again not saying everyone fantasizes about others outside their relationship but its not cheating if you do and it's normal. Every person is unique so it's up to each person what they do and why they do it. But thank you for all jumping down my throat
chlorinegreen 27
If that's not what you meant you probably shouldn't of said "only" and "everybody".
simonsaysYDI 8
63 - Yes, which is why I included the part about assuming they are young. Controlling jealousy isn't something you just are naturally good at for a lot of people. You can love and trust someone but still want to kick the crap out of someone that flirts with your significant other. If they're teens or even early 20s, it's understandable and it's something they need to talk about so he can learn to not jump to those conclusions right away. Dumping him without discussion would just reinforce it. If they're in their 30s or something, then the guy needs to grow up and act like a man who has the maturity to deal with all the bumps in the road during a relationship.
ALlamaOnFire 20
He's just practising Op;)
supbabes 0
Who lets a baby suck on their neck!? And for long enough to leave a bruise lol
KatlynBrooke 27
Practicing*
boycrazy30007 12
I've had that happen. I've also had hickeys from a cat :)
graffitied_love 20
Hickeys from a cat??? That sounds painful more than anything
Goldenchest 14
It would be more like a snake bite than a hickey..
chatoyant_fml 12
A hickey from a cat? Did you pull out all of its teeth before or what?
xcarxcrashx 9
It's kind of gross to let the baby suck on your neck long enough to produce a hickey. Ever hear of a pacifier? I know not all babies like them but your neck? Ick...
Jaxx66 21
5- you look like someone I know named Revae. But it was that same pic, but with a blue tongue. Are you? Also, I wouldn't of thought cats could give a hickey. Since you need the lips and cheeks to create the suction. (yes they suckle when they are young, but that's something that goes in their mouth. So unless there's a skin fla... Oh wow, I'm going to stop before I gross myself out.)
Trix_Disorder 20
I confirm that cats can give hickies. When a kitten has been weened from their mother too early, they suckle and kneed on other things impulsively. My friend had a kitten that would suckle on your arm if you let it.
boycrazy30007 12
It was a kitten that was weaned to soon so he tried to nurse from my neck in the middle of the night and the baby didn't give me a hickey I meant I'd had a baby suck on my neck before.
boycrazy30007 12
75 I don't know you and they actually can produce a suction without lips it's really common in kittens who lose their mothers. Though some of them like sucking on earlobes or even your pinky finger.
center 5
Time to trade up boyfriends and avoid hungry babies.
CoachBangWhore 5
That's why you don't let a toddler get to second base on you
mimiminx 23
The baby is not a toddler. It's 2 months old.
brookemurray17 5
Nice name(:
GothickNihilist 15
It could be worse OP . The child could have been teething.
Calingaladha 21
Ah, that might be awkward... "I swear, sweetie, I'm not a fang banger."
Spectre529 12
There is always a story behind everything... Unfortunately your proof lies with that child.... Good luck!! =D
lilhellian 27
ur name isnt nikki i've met u b4 same exact pic but name is different i met u on textplus
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
47-google pics?
lilhellian 27
i made sure it was the real 1 on textplus thru sev rediculous requests in pic and voice notes to make it harder fakin being a girl
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
49- I mean that picture is all over google and it is years old. It's probably fake on the other girl too. Oh well.
lilhellian 27
cuz skype and oovoo can be faked
lilhellian 27
oo fancy word an sorry if my spelling annoys u i dont wake up to please u:)
lilhellian 27
broca i consider it fancy because it so rarely used and ive only heard it once b4
lilhellian 27
sorry u an i are not same there i just feel like bein miss perfect grammer on the internet
lilhellian 27
plz do not assume every1 wants to be the same
greenie213 23
That baby is already a home wrecker! Good Lord!
iEatWookies 1
I bet that was bruising to your relationship.