Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
SoulEaterSE 23
#fingersinthebootyassbitch
dudeutookhrs 24
So who learned the lesson here?
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Comments (59)
ananicosia 28
At least he gets the message, no more fingers in butts for anyone
zeffra13 31
I doubt he got the message. I bet he's more like my ex & thinks he's the only one who can get away with things.
Ms_ValS 27
I'd just shut the gates till he gets it OP.
kitkatjoy_96 28
Except for Kanye ≧∇≦
kitkatmiaow 21
Issues???
CFB_FRS 27
You deserved that..
YouDeservedIt69 8
Yeah
pinkiepink 15
excuse me? OP clearly made it obvious that she didn't want to be touched that way. OP didn't deserve anything. ?
Cadillac_kid_15 27
Eww
SoulEaterSE 23
#fingersinthebootyassbitch
Liamj774 36
Well maybe you need to fartify your ass crack
PePziNL 20
I gave you a thumbsup only for the word fartify.
sallycinnamon 21
Holy shit
The_ghetto_mango 25
Is that supposed to be a pun? If it was, it was terrible.
SwagGod420 2
unless he was jesus holy half that comment is correct
dudeutookhrs 24
So who learned the lesson here?
Bigdog107 11
is your husband's name kanye by any chance?
Apparentlyacunt 18
If he still hasn't got the message at least you know a different tact to try in the future.
kayh666 14
glad it's not just my household that does this ??