Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Yep and...YOU married him.
LadyGore 12
Now you need to come up with a way to get him back even grosser. Make him regret doing it and see the humor in it, not the disgust. :P
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Comments (111)
FlyingPie 17
I don't understand why someone would want to fart on their spouse. If he had gas, I'd think he'd want to be the one spooning you instead of you spooning him.
lodawg98 4
Speed dating time
xRenegadeRoguex 6
My boyfriend does this, except in public to embarrass me.
PixieZee 8
I could not help it, I giggled a little. Could be a lot worse though, but I voted fyl :)
devon8823 4
That's ok my husband has done the same thing to me.
foxholeathiest 4
Mans sign of ultimate affection
doodlecloud 27
Am I the only one who doesn't think 'haha, men will be men, they all love farts'? My boyfriend and I are really close and open - we are at the stage where we're pretty much over farts but there's no way we'd try and fart on each other. If one of us farts we'd be a bit embarassed but laugh it off however I'd be kinda mortified if I farted actually on him and I know he'd be the same if he did so to me. I think that's perfectly healthy in a relationship though. Farting isn't a sign of a 'healthy, trusting, open relationship'. Having a good relationship doesn't mean you can't have some dignity too.
doodlecloud 27
And for the record, I'm not saying that you can't both enjoy farts for whatever reason and have a good relationship. I just don't get why people seem to think one equals the other and people's first comments seem to be 'that's a good thing, it means you're open to each other' like that automatically means everyone should like it and strive for that..
kouklistax3 2
Me and my fiancé fart on each other all the time. Stop being so uptight and let it out every now and then.
doodlecloud 27
You clearly didn't fully read or understand my comment otherwise you'd know that last sentence is stupid - I never said I never farted, I actually said we're quite okay with it. I just don't see why not enjoying farting on my other half somehow means I'm missing something in my relationship.
noisebox 1
Here's really saying he hates you
UsagiArwen 23
I agree with you, #93. It's one thing to fart. Everyone does it, whether you want to or not, you fart. But it's another thing completely when you fart on someone else. #95, she's not talking about the fact that he farts. She's talking about the fact that he farts on her *body* because she's spooning up behind his butt and he rips one on her legs or elsewhere. That is where she's disgusted, and so too would I be if my significant other did that to me. I don't care if my boyfriend farts, especially since I know I fart just as bad. But it is incredibly disrespectful for a man to get a woman/his wife intimately close in bed, and then start ripping when he knows she's right behind him and probably feels his butt cheeks ripple from the effort.