Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Yep and...YOU married him.
LadyGore 12
Now you need to come up with a way to get him back even grosser. Make him regret doing it and see the humor in it, not the disgust. :P
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Comments (111)
felah17 6
You need to spoon him yourself, next time you have a case of explosive diarrhea!!
pabst4america 1
BOOM diarrhea to the FACE
doodlecloud 27
Except if you had diarrhea and you spooned him it wouldn't actually go on him...
khriss_khriss 7
Lmfaooo that is actually halarious !
Austyn57 1
sure know how to pick umm
darthzerg 7
I do the same to my wife
lildrummer23 3
Mine does the same thing
doby199 6
I feel ur pain
joenuuuuu 0
Best husband evarrr
dolphins_penny 5
that's okay. my husband tries to Dutch oven me sometimes. either tell him it's gross or just find the humor in it. men are men, and I love my husband for every bit he is. just be happy u get to cuddle him and ur not far away :) I would do anything to be able to be with my hubby right now.
xrawritsashleyx 11
What's wrong with that?! Everybody farts haha. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and i fart when he spoons me... He just laughs haha. It's just a sign that youre comfortable with them :)
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
I think farts are pretty funny too. Just tonight, my father in-law did a massive fart and we were all in stitches! I don't care how 'immature' some people think it is, farts are funny and its nice to be able to be relaxed enough and even alittle playful. Have some humor, and be alittle jovial! no need to be disgusted. I would never go so far as to fart in his face or anything. You could seriously poison a person, by doing that.
neurodoc 1
Awwww... He just wanted you to be warm and cozy... :P Juz teasing. He is that comfi with you. Ignore the rest and enjoy that fact! And be assured that a sweet revenge will be treated the same way. ;) Happy spooning!