Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looked at me with accepting eyes and after I'd finished said, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML
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Top comments
Haterandlover 0
Your fault......People make mistakes.
missL1z 5
You kinda deserved it. Nobody ask for accident to happen, you didn't have to bitch her out for it cuz I bet she would e truly sorry about it. She made a pretty awesome comeback!
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Comments (233)
radarie 6
I would have been mad, too. If you think she was overreacting, go make some coffee, and poor at all over yourself and see how you feel.
jaff23 11
If it was just an accident then you over reacted and deserved it.
Werman20 4
You deserve it for being fat and ugly.
Epic_Times 10
You got burned! :P Haha
goneblue 3
Boo hook hot coffee. Everyone get over it. The OP condemned herself to ridicule by admiring to "bitching" her out. Classy. Shit happens. You could have a pot of coffee spilt on you.
kyrintethron 0
Fat bitch. YDI
Sunshyne_Daedree 0
Dont cry over spilled coffee.
Shuffles 0
she shoulda sang, "hungry hungry hippo!"
dmdandridge 0
Sounds like something I would have said :) I'm sorry but YDI.
5t3ff1k4h 47
So she deserves it for apparently being overweight? Just because she's not a stick figure like this dumb bitch who spilled coffee on her doesn't mean she's automatically obese. She may very well be at a perfectly normal weight - read: NOT OVERWEIGHT. People are bitches when they're full of themselves... this girl who ran into OP sounds no different.
Wolveslikepie 4
how do we know the coffee spiller was a stick figure aren't you being a tad rude in assuming that......
5t3ff1k4h 47
Fair enough, but usually when someone makes a comment about another person being overweight, they're significantly thinner themselves. That's what leads me to believe that while the girl may not have been a negative size two, she's more than likely pretty small... even a size 6 would work if OP really is that big.
bubo_fml 11
"Get me a Turkey Pot Pie!!! Bitch!!!"