Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looked at me with accepting eyes and after I'd finished said, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML
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Top comments
Haterandlover 0
Your fault......People make mistakes.
missL1z 5
You kinda deserved it. Nobody ask for accident to happen, you didn't have to bitch her out for it cuz I bet she would e truly sorry about it. She made a pretty awesome comeback!
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Comments (233)
marlarooNaps 0
ahahah
stevenmx86 8
Haha totally asked for that one op!
Jasonf6 0
ROFLMAO
texas_redneck88 10
BAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU GOT BUUUUURNED!!!! LMFAO
nick52695 0
You desreve it u grumpy bitch
jasonrn1990 0
Amazing! Lol
ReynshineCutting 10
All of you saying OP deserved it for "overreacting", the next time someone rear ends you or t-bones you in an intersection, just laugh it off because it's an accident and pay for it yourself instead of making the person who hit you's insurance cover it. I mean, it's just an accident right? No need to get pissed or anything.
justanotherbird 19
Your comment is ridiculous. Why would you pay for it yourself if you aren't upset about it? Not every accident is something to be upset about. I've been rear ended twice and neither time was I upset. I just said "Alright" after they apologized and got their insurance. Acting like an angry spewing child isn't going to make the situation easier, in fact, I would think it would only make it shittier for both people. Now, a drunk driver killing one of your passengers might be something to be angry about, but that's a whole different story.
captainbj2 0
Actually, accidents happen. Even if you get rear ended, just have their insurance cover it. No need to get mad. Also, this op got aggressive over spilled coffee....come on....no where near the same. Op totally deserved what she got, for being just a nasty person.
ReynshineCutting 10
Well you're an odd one then. Causing expensive damage to your car and wasting a shit ton of your time and inconveniencing the hell out of you would make most people pretty pissed. I've been rear ended once and I didn't get to say anything to the guy because I started laughing at the fact that he had to have his car towed and taken to a shop for a few days and I got to drive away. He totally got what he deserved there, but that's not always the case. And why do you think in a lot of states cops write tickets to people who cause accidents? With OP, someone spilled (presumably) hot coffee all over her. If that had happened to me, the idiot who did it would be paying for my clothes and any medical bills if I got burned. People screw up and they need to be held accountable. In some instances (such as personal injury or expense) bitching someone out is totally called for. If you don't ever do that, then good for you, but there's nothing wrong with it if others do it when it's warranted.
stacianichole 2
You sound like a mean, hateful person. "I like to laugh at the misfortune of others resulting from accidents to make me feel better." HEY GUESS WHAT. every single person deals with unexpected inconveniences, bs and expensive this or that. The world would be a better place if people realized they are not entitled to anything different.
stacianichole 2
You are the reason McDonald's coffee cups say 'Caution: contents may be hot"...
ReynshineCutting 10
No, I wouldn't sue because I spilled hot coffee on myself like that dumb bitch did. However if someone spilled hot coffee on me they'd be in a world of trouble. You can call me mean and hateful and I really don't care. Its fml so its not like it matters. I've got plenty of people in the real world who love me to death so what you call me is irrelevant. Also, the asshole that rear ended me had been tailgating me so he totally got what he deserved when he had to be towed and I got to drive away. Damn straight I laughed at him.
WearingHats 14
You also said you were fat earlier. So I'll laugh at you because you deserve it for being so wrapped up in yourself.
ReynshineCutting 10
I am fat and you know what? I'm still beautiful. I may have an ego and self confidence but it's better than the alternative. So laugh all you want. I really don't care. I have a better life than most people will ever know because I truly am blessed.
5t3ff1k4h 47
101 - People of any weight, shape or size are allowed to have something known as self confidence. Does it bother you that she's okay with herself? I'm actually impressed. Most "fat women" are down on themselves and complain all the time. Leave the people with self confidence alone and go find your own.
ReynshineCutting 10
Thank you 110 :) I wish more bigger girls could have self confidence and realize that they can still be beautiful even if they're not a size 2.
Petunia888 13
78: why would you compare spilled coffee to a car wreck? No sense in jumping To extremes. Sometimes you post comments that make a good point, but there are some times when it seems like you just argue for the sake of arguing. If her clothes were ruined, she could go up to the manager and say, "hey, man, I know that the spilled coffee was an accident, but my clothes are ruined; can you reimburse me?" And if they cop an attitude, then yeah, go ahead and get upset. But you shouldn't immediately rip someone a new asshole; you never know if you'll be indebted to this person farther down the road. Spread some love. =)
Petunia888 13
Also, I know quite a few overweight girls who are beautiful, inside and out. I don't look down on people for being overweight, as long as they are taking care of their bodies and eating the best food they can afford. Some of these corporations have made it their ultimate goal to make women feel bad about their appearance, which is bs. Help people, but don't make them feel ugly. That's what I'm about.
Wolveslikepie 4
Damn 78 you are probably the biggest douche bag/bitch I have ever had the displeasure of semi but not really at all meeting.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Eat a Snickers
alisakittykat 0
Ever noticed tht "big" guys are always nice and sweet while big girls are always bitches from hell?
SteelCladAngel 0
The big girls I know and hang with are some pretty amazing people and the 'skinny' girls are some of the most cuntacular bitches I've ever met.
Petunia888 13
118: I liked your comment cuz you said "cuntacular". =D
Omgplz 3
Big guys are such Teddy bears
charvisioku 22
I know some pretty malicious fat guys and some lovely fat girls. And vice versa. Generalisation, mate. Not really true.
red1355 6
HAHAHA! ! ! wow. Thats cool! I wish i would have said that! But, honestly.... You were hungry right?? Lol FYL!