Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looked at me with accepting eyes and after I'd finished said, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML
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Top comments
Haterandlover 0
Your fault......People make mistakes.
missL1z 5
You kinda deserved it. Nobody ask for accident to happen, you didn't have to bitch her out for it cuz I bet she would e truly sorry about it. She made a pretty awesome comeback!
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Comments (233)
MarioDragon 14
Aha. Hahaha. That's the best FML I've read in a verrrrry long time.
FlurffyPupQueen 7
Whole. But head first.
misshighjinks 5
Well she was just standing up for herself, but if the girl is usually a mean person then fyl :/
benniful 0
if she apologized, the girl that spilled the coffee shouldn't have been bitched out. So maybe op's just a cuntface. it's hard to tell on this fml :S
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ok most of these ydi's are legit but, the op had the right to bitch out, (depends if the bitch apolagized or not) and the fat comment was uncalled for. But seriously, she deserves the crap on this comment thread? #143 "Hahaha it's funny 'cause you're fat“ REALLY? You're an ass any way ITS HOT COFFE
THE_A_TEEN 28
-E (phone commenting glitch) im pretty sure you would all bitch out.
benniful 0
she didn't say anything about it being hot. so I'm guessing it wasn't hot enough to burn her. Shit happens to everyone
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, the fml would had said iced coffee, but judging by the fml it meant hot coffee
THE_A_TEEN 28
But still that chick bumped into her, and spilled coffee, plus it still would have been hot
vballgirl3 7
Damn
deadrising084 1
Assuming it was an accident, there is absolutely no reason to bitch someone out on something as little as coffee. It's just a waste of energy and not worth the time
charlotte100 2
U totally derserve it. Nothings worse than a fat and mean person.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yea there is. Its a judgemental bitch.
dasteve 0
yall deserved it.
SammIght 7
Hulk smash...?
weesh40 1
Kinda reminds me of the snickers commercials. Your not yourself when your hungry.