Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looked at me with accepting eyes and after I'd finished said, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML
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Top comments
Haterandlover 0
Your fault......People make mistakes.
missL1z 5
You kinda deserved it. Nobody ask for accident to happen, you didn't have to bitch her out for it cuz I bet she would e truly sorry about it. She made a pretty awesome comeback!
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Comments (233)
McMike10 1
Eat her.
walterism 0
lol
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
16 - In what way? ;)
chanoscar 8
Omg I'm dying >.< this was just epic haha
ljr1094 7
bahahaha that's awesome!
jloc 2
Shoulda stayed chill
ramboman19 8
Well that's what happens when you're rude to someone over something so accidental. If she purposely spilled it, then that's different. But bitching at someone for an accident is just rude. YDI
catnip1997 0
The better looking girl always has the right of way.
BlackFireGeisha 4
That's sooort of an awful thing to say. Not to mention logically untrue. A bigger person would have an easier pushing past a smaller person. But, no yeah, I totally see why women you find unattractive should just stay in their little cages all the time. No wants to to see how ugly they are. How dare they inflict that upon the masses?!
Mysanitywins 10
Way to be a Asshole. OP might be in the wrong here, but seriously?
catnip1997 0
I'm not saying that fat ugly girls should stay in their cages (even though it would be helpful for society), but merely stating that hotter and more fit girls are superior to them.
Mysanitywins 10
Still. That's being kind of a judgmental asshole. I might be wrong.
missmady 0
oh my god. it's people like you that don't deserve to have a place on this planet.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
32 - People like you should stay in a cage; it would be helpful to society simply because everyone else is intellectually superior than you.
ReynshineCutting 10
OP could be bigger than the bitch that spilled coffee on her but she could also be 1000x WAY better looking. Just because someone is skinnier, it does not mean they're better looking.
stacianichole 2
Yes it does.
ReynshineCutting 10
Umm no it doesn't. There are quite a few skinny girls that got hit with the ugly stick and quite a few bigger girls that have beautiful faces. I'm bigger and am way better looking than a lot of girls. I always get compliments on my eyes and my fiancé's family always tells me how beautiful I am. My best friend told me she's jealous of my looks sometimes and she's a size 6. So no. Skinny girls are not always better looking than bigger girls. It depends on the individual.
SteelCladAngel 0
So catnip1997 I'm guessing that cat is the only pussy you ever get?
ndhin831 2
no, it's the girl with bigger boobs who has right of way
Lexianne 9
While, yes, it was a very rude response, I can't really feel too sympathetic since you had chewed her a new asshole for an accident. If you're going to be nasty to someone, it really should not come as a surprise if they comeback with something just as nasty. IMO, YDI.
catnip1997 0
I'm not saying fat ugly women should stay in their cages (not that it would be a bad thing), but to merely understand that hotter and more fit women are superior to them.
khaya 9
Well put it this way, you wouldn't be angry if she poured it down your throat.
n_epic_fail 14
I can't even think if a proficient comment.
Skorne 5
Was it just before lunch?
Maxxy928 7
FYL just because that has to be one of the best comebacks ever.
xrainbowshadowx 17
I understand that why you were pissed off, but why did you have to bitch about it? Yes, her comeback was rude but you did overreact. Why couldn't you just be more subtle about it? Accidents happen. YDI.