Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I woke myself up by pinching my nipple between my elbow and the bed. This isn’t the first time. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
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Top comments
leaaaa 223 6
Sounds like he reverted back to a baby while asleep 😂
Mooglefox 24
Make sure you stop in the baby department for a pacifier.
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Comments (7)
leaaaa 223 6
Sounds like he reverted back to a baby while asleep 😂
Mooglefox 24
Make sure you stop in the baby department for a pacifier.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
oh great dream nyrsing he might have some problems even he isn't aware of
jgiles09 17
anyone for bitty?
diraven 15
It's probably time to start him on solid food
jfigley 5
Haha oops...