Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to ask my boss for a raise. I confidently walked into his office, ready to present my case, only to trip over the edge of a rug and fall onto his desk, scattering papers and stuff everywhere. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
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Top comments
NoOneLovesYou 13
Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.
MissWhitneyB 17
She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.
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Comments (123)
DustyStorm 16
Should have started chewing on her fingers... Or gnawed on her arm. Get out your Heinz 57, steak knife and fork, then ask her, "Where would you like me to start?"
Evolving_Squid 15
The general career rule is: if you haven't seen some kind of promotion or raise in 2 years, you probably need a new job. That seems to apply here.
mismis_fml 7
Ask her if you can get that in writing
happy_guy1260 8
What the actual ****?
EonDarkStar 1
"I asked for a raise, not your job." Or. "I asked for a raise, not your mothers job."
RedPillSucks 33
oooh. Career limiting move (CLM) , but I like it.
l_ 19
and that's when you say "no thanks, you don't look very appetizing"
ash268 18
I think she meant that you asking for a raise is as ridiculous as her asking you to eat a dick bahahahaha funny
TogeBara 12
I'd ask her again and get it recorded (whatever smart ass comment she gives you this time) then report her and/or threaten that if you don't get a raise you'll sue for harassment
perdix 31
You should be getting some kind of raise every year to 18 months, even if it's just a cost of living adjustment. You should have considered staring back until she showed you the dick and the associated raise. That's the only way to make an informed decision.
pwmjm 9
actually if your staying in the same field you don't really want to burn any bridges competitors often buy each other out and you could end up working for the asshole again and this time an around your former department manager is now ceo...