Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML
Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML
Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML
Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, it was a coworker's last day. Over the last 6 months, he has been talking smack about me because he assumed I'd ratted him out for a Facebook post, ranting about our place of employment. I decided to confront him after work to let him know that I didn't do it. He then reported me for harassment to all of my supervisors. FML
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Top comments
crossl16 22
I don't even want to imagine what he'd do if you accidentally brushed up against him
Tripartita 45
Unless you invited his sweet ass to an orgy, I don't see how on earth this could be warranted.
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Comments (100)
man_in_black08 28
Careful OP, if you shook his hands, he will claim he was raped by you. Smh.
crossl16 22
I don't even want to imagine what he'd do if you accidentally brushed up against him
UserError94 18
**** in his pants
Mpii 11
I guess he'd just shoot Op right then and there and later claim self-defence.
warrenhoward42 20
punch him in the dick so he actually has something to report you for.
itscomplicated15 6
Is it hard, #8? You know.. Not getting sarcasm. If you need someone, Sheldon is there for you. (Just so you dont get even more confused, no sarcasm in this comment)
lexred 30
It seems that the comment and the replies are posted by geniuses.
Rkikkas9713 25
Is it hard, #10? Knowing that he actually wasn't being sarcastic, and either way, sarcasm over text is hard to properly convey?
MoxleyCrue 17
He was and it's not. If it were then books would have a hell of a hard time employing sarcasm and verbal irony.
MoxleyCrue 17
My comment was meant for 37.
itscomplicated15 6
#37, no, it's not hard. And yes, #3 as OBVIOUSLY being sarcastic. If you dont get it, then I'm not the one to be blamed. And #41 said all the rest that was needed to say, thank you #41!
R2Y2 22
It must be pretty hard if you're still being a tard about it, 68. Nah, I'm kidding, you're totally picking up on the right ques.
Tripartita 45
Unless you invited his sweet ass to an orgy, I don't see how on earth this could be warranted.
AlchemistEd 12
for the same reason it is when girls do that exact thing to guys for asking them out? not saying I agree, but common.
DomiLove 26
23 that might be the girls you deal with but I know a lot of girls who just blow it off unless they're very aggressive with it. If they're good with the rejection, no need, if not then report.
leogachi 15
@62 To be fair, he didn't say most girls. False sexual harassment reports are filed all the time and it's usually women who file them. Is it fair? No. Is it true? Yes.
Matt_Hazard 16
It's a knee jerk reaction. Nowadays, guys are so scared of women filing sexual harassment claims against them for no reason (and this is incredibly common in office relationships when a women is simply mad at her boyfriend) that they feel they have to take the aggressive stance. Moral of the story: Never ask a co-worker out on a date. All you're doing is asking for trouble.
trulypar 34
And people wonder why people stay home and don't socialize like they used to...you can't even ask someone on a date!
pjsr 33
...and that's how I met your father
Lalala579121 28
Still a better love story than Twilight.
spicyburrito 18
Well if he's already going to report you, might as well get a little saucy ;)
Le_ponderer 14
OP, you should go to HR first and report the occurrence; before they become jaded by his skewed account. Does the part of the office you were talking to him in have cameras? Then they can simply play back and see what happened.
Dexter83_fml 17
Lol OP he won't get very far. Sexual harassment is classed as on going HR will laugh at him what a knob.
plan_Z 14
That's if he gives a honest and accurate account of what happened. He may lie through his teeth in order to secure a large pay off. And this is why I am grateful my workplace has a no fraternizing policy between workers.
Earths_Venus 25
Never ever ever date a coworker.
Bman54 19
Says you. I dated a coworker, and now we're engaged, though we've both since left that job.
laden_swallow09 35
No, says me, too. My own parents were coworkers at one point, but just like long-distance relationships, don't expect anything to come out of it since it usually – USUALLY doesn't end well.
Allornone 35
while it can certainly be a risky situation and often is a very bad idea, it can work out. my bf and I have worked together for five years and have been dating the last two. we make efforts to keep our relationship out of the workplace, and ensure it doesn't affect the job. so far, I think we've been successful.