Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to ask my boss for a raise. I confidently walked into his office, ready to present my case, only to trip over the edge of a rug and fall onto his desk, scattering papers and stuff everywhere. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
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Top comments
NoOneLovesYou 13
Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.
MissWhitneyB 17
She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.
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Comments (123)
aecribb 14
For some reason this reminds me of Office Space haha
imbedderdenu 23
followed by I quit and a sexual harassment suit. done. not cool.
incoherentrmblr 22
Sounds like the movie horrible bosses. Time to call mothaf**ka Jones...
Omniprism 15
Find a new ******* job. What a bitch.
RedPillSucks 33
For all the people saying to file a sexual harassment lawsuit, that's useless unless there's some documentation.
mwek3 11
That's hostile work environment. If that's what you get as regular treatment, start writing any dates, times, & any witnesses. Then file complaints with the EEOC & ACLU. If that doesn't fix it, you can always quit & file for unemployment. They would most likely approve you if you cite hostile work environment.. Good Luck.
wolfgold2 20
Listen to your boss and eat a dick.
Vidimus 13
Pretty sure your boss isn't allowed to say that sort of shit. Report to HIS boss, bro. Otherwise you might be able to file a complaint to an EEO associate.
pnutbutternjelly 15
I think it's time to look into other job opportunities.
rfid_fml 13
Nice. I hope you fine a sexual harassment claim.