Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to ask my boss for a raise. I confidently walked into his office, ready to present my case, only to trip over the edge of a rug and fall onto his desk, scattering papers and stuff everywhere. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NoOneLovesYou 13
Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.
MissWhitneyB 17
She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
RonnieG 10
don't let her talk to you like that. stand up for yourself. say "You need me to eat a ****? well, I need to see your supervisor about your inappropriate subject matter and lack of professionalism"
pitbullover808 2
That's ok.....you can get twice that in a sexual harassment lawsuit because he/she cannot tell you to suck a dick. Seriously that a very big lawsuit. Sue and ask for her job! A good lawyer could set you for life.
aligater10 7
Guess its time to find something else.
Dusty_Busters 15
Call her a ****. Problem solved
bigheadco07 7
Time to quit.
chikaolivia 3
Next time have a plan b, get another job offer first then ask, if she said no leave on the spot.
Brak_Spaceman 19
Correct reply would've been to ask her to whip it out.
raidersfan64 4
sexual harassment!
Bludmagnus 13
And that is when you make her life a living hell.
Hipnog 15
Since your boss is a she, you should reply: "Can I start with yours?"
chuksnwali 34
Hah