Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!
AllieCat21 21
Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.
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Comments (109)
Amishanthony 6
Good riddance.
Flora_fml 6
The one who can't even spell y-o-u is really one to talk. But seriously, at least it wasn't The Pursuit of Happyness.
toaster012 17
Stupid autocorrect...
ihaveasushicat 24
Maybe post a picture of the book and ask who is the illiterate one now?
Nicole1225 14
They would probably say the author is the illiterate one....
OhDearBetrayal 25
It would take some nerve to call Stephen King illiterate.
jamnglamgirlie 17
Exactly what I thought.
shieldthestral 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sematary? What are you, nine??
friedchickenpie 14
Now THIS I hope is a joke.
yoursucklives 36
it's correct, it's the books title!
akiahara 14
I hope this is a reference to the book, but I'm doubtful.
fordfan89 9
sometimes its better to keep your mouth shut and let people think your an idiot, than to open it and prove them right.
AFloppyWetWhale 6
Same
gingerlover01 24
the book title is spelled that way as the sign in the book was painted by young children, the main character Lewis states at one point "it's funny how that little misspelling gets into your head"
PipingMouse 14
Some people just need to check themselves before stupidity like this flies out of their mouth/fingers. It would save a lot of my faith in humanity from being lost.
akiahara 14
The sex must be good... you're clearly not dating him for his brain, either. The stupidity, it burns us.
lollipop77_fml 6
Put a "Thinner" curse on them.... ;) (Love Stephen King!). Obviously the people that you "lost" aren't worth wasting your time over!
zandalee 20
If you like Stephen King, you will love Dean Koontz!!! Try him. You will be hooked.
chillinAK 9
With Dean Koontz, try to stick to his earlier novels like Watchers,Cold Fire, Winter Moon. His newer works are way to full of it.
CanCann 16
Sounds like you're better off without all of them... If it were me I'd tag their comments and a picture of the book so all of their friends can see who the real dumbasses are.
goudou_fml 19
Your (ex)-friends/boyfriend obviously aren't keen readers of novels then...