Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
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Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"A tampon, a Barbie doll, any type of vegetable, a Labradoodle, weave, a Chicken leg, a kitten, my nephew's textbooks--" "JESUS CHRIST LADY, SHUT UP!"
MrFuzzles 5
As a pharmacist, I hope you payed close attention!
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Comments (126)
MeesterMatt 3
First?!!?!!
Zachthejoker 10
Welcome to, the twilight zone. Do doo do doo do doo do doo
CockAsian 14
No, just no.
tehaustiebear 34
and this one time, at band camp...
imaginaryvoice 18
Did she inform you of the quality? Or the quantity?
kathuzada 6
40 what is your profile pic?
SloppyFlamingo 4
47) A collage of pictures.
elidine 0
That's a rather large cockpit....
LolFMLnot 10
My strange addiction?
imaginaryvoice 18
47: It's a picture of me, and if turned upside down you can see a picture of my boyfriend:)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
High five of you clicked on 94's pic first thinking "WTF...?" and then a second time to see her boyfriend XD
italiancows 8
You will thumb down this comment.
ww2freak 6
That's really cute
MrFuzzles 5
As a pharmacist, I hope you payed close attention!
slick5880 22
I hope you played 20 questions.
IOmnomHard 10
You're assuming she's a pharmacist. Some pharmacies have regular people working registers. I doubt an actual pharmacist,a female at that, would complain hearing about anything related to body parts, being in the medical career.
TrinityisLife 22
I'm a certified pharmacy tech and I complain of it all the time >_>
torch433 1
thats the life of working at a pharmacy FYL
mpsteve137 15
Say here's something you can shove up there, and flick her off
SqueakyChipmunk 22
The awkward moment when she actually does stick it up there.
cornielious 1
Ahhh that may not be the best course of action
yuzuhere 21
A hoarder in the making! Ouch...
lorenzoman77 7
That's just gross... But hey, at least she doesn't stick monopoly pieces up there!
mboehm88 3
43 - You don't know that. She might stick the whole damn game board up there.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^ Even the box O.o
GirlWithHair 4
So....what does she stick up her ******?
gurly98 13
So, what does she not put in her ******? Exactly
THE_A_TEEN 28
gurly98, I'm guessing tampons.
SkoomaKi 28
God dammit guys, I can't finish now!
jjake20140 2
She has a very strange thing for squash.
Calyx_fml 22
At her age, probably a fire plug.
KiddNYC1O 22
Vicks VapoRub. All up in there. Refill!
slick5880 22
Basketballs. As in multiple.
Jays7 10
Gotta love the elderly, OP! At least it wasn't your grandmother?
Blacksxe 1
At least she didn't talk about her having any type of sexual disease and the puss that leaks from it. I say you got lucky man.
Llamacod 11
And by "man" I presume you meant "woman"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"A tampon, a Barbie doll, any type of vegetable, a Labradoodle, weave, a Chicken leg, a kitten, my nephew's textbooks--" "JESUS CHRIST LADY, SHUT UP!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Aww, it cut me off. "Jesus Christ lady, shut up!"
nelds 12
A kitten?!?!?! Poor kitty!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
A cat within a cat- INCEPTION
THE_A_TEEN 28
*Catception
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER
nelds 12
Haha that's brilliant. I love cats. Only the ones that meow though. O.o
Keevarou 17
38, so not my grandmothers..? It cant meow because of the vocal chords or something D; Poor snuggle..
nelds 12
I guess I can make an exception. Love all the kitties
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Love ALL the kitties!
Nabee143 3
38 Don't discriminate the poor little cats. Even the ones that moo deserve a chance! Lol
Senseless_487 29
Did she at least give you any ideas?
Il_Maestro 6
I'm sure the OP was just dying to figure out what other foreign objects she could stick up her ******.
Senseless_487 29
Whoops, sorry, I forgot that humor falls short on some.
kirrra 11
89- while its true humour sometimes falls short, its a totally different story when the "joke" isn't all that humoures.