Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Catkam623 27
What does frozen yogurt have to do with vaginal infections?
peacheso 31
Apparently, it can be applied topically to treat yeast infections. Sorry guys but he asked.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
Catkam623 27
What does frozen yogurt have to do with vaginal infections?
Wizardo 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She has tonsils in her tatty bojangles? Hell knows man...
peacheso 31
Apparently, it can be applied topically to treat yeast infections. Sorry guys but he asked.
mollyxrose 22
The live cultures in yogurt help prevent and treat vaginal infections caused by bacteria.
Wizardo 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well you learn something everyday I guess. But the real question is which flavour is the best? Chubby Hubby or Fish Food?
MzZombicidal 36
Not sure how much of the info is accurate, but yogurt can help maintain a vaginal pH level. All I did was look it up online, as the older woman may have done as well. It's said that the women who ate yogurt with active cultures had a lower pH balance and a lower risk of infections than the women who did not. So, there you have it.
mageepaigeee44 15
That's absolutely true #18 but that's because of what people were saying before. Antibiotics wipe out all the bacteria in your body including good bacteria. Some people lack those good bacterial naturally but either way it can cause infection because your PH is off (too basic I believe). Sorry to get disgusting but I'm a vegan and everytime I get sick and need to take antibiotics, I put veganism on a hold and buy some plain Greek yogurt.
ColonelCusswords 24
Sometimes I wish science didnt explain things to me...
VanOBrien 14
Me too. LoL
DrippingSarcasm 20
I did not want to read #12 while I eat yogurt. Too late. Lunch is ruined hahah
askullnamedbilly 33
The question is, at what temperatures do the bacteria cultures in yoghurt survive and thrive? I highly doubt it's freezing temperatures, so the froyo might not do her any good.
incoherentrmblr 22
I don't think that yogurt will be frozen any longer...
FahQMane 1
Actually, 53, believe it or not, bacteria isn't killed by freezing temperature. It is preserved. That's why when it's cold out, it's easier to get sick. Once the bacteria enters your warm bloodstream, it unfreezes and attacks your weakened immune system.
mageepaigeee44 15
Most people EAT the yogurt lol. But apparently you can apply it directly. I guess I wasn't clear on that haha
dragonkisses28 25
#13 Chubby hubby and phish food (and yes I spelled it right) are flavors of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Not yogurt.
cbelanger 9
I knew this would be the first thing someone said
lina21 12
Yogurt has healthy bacteria. So if she's taking antibiotics, she'd be looking to replace that. What she apparently missed is that frozen yogurt isn't yogurt just frozen. It has a lot more added sugar and a lot fewer good nutrients
SpicyDuck 22
Don't know why everyone's getting so grossed out. It's good to know and really no different than treating any other kind of infection.
lilredheadbeauty 7
It's An Old Urban Legend That Yogurt Fixes It.
dragonrider1959 18
Helps her stay happy
mageepaigeee44 15
#87 it's not an urban legend. They just don't know if eating yogurt can cure a yeast infection but there's no doubt that yogurt can help restore the health of your lady bits. :P
Skyzeri 20
I'm a vegan, and there is soy yogurt with the same bacteria in it.
BreathingClover 19
I understand what somebody could negatively rate this.. its funny!
sometimessam 16
I'm right there with you #38. I learned way too much on this thread.
HaHaCatsDotDot 3
Im not sure if it has anything to do with the infection itself But Cheese and dairy promote a more basic/alcaline ph environment -Meats promote a more acidic ph btw I think most bacteria and yeast prefer the more basic ph?... The probiotics usually affect the stomach, im not sure how much the vaginal area is affected though o3o Trivia: You can even slightly influence the gender of your child with your diet Since male and female spermlings differ in resistance (vaginal fluids act as a weaker spermicide) and speed :D
superwolf33 15
That sucks
Danny_Boy12 13
Old ladies have been on a mean streak lately on this site
ColonelCusswords 24
#25 I know right?! Theyre planning something...
SemiAuto 21
That woman is the yeast of OP's problems.
lina21 12
#25 right? Old ladies are crazy, but they've definitely been on an excessive tear lately
Sun_Kissed18 25
@41 No, seriously, that was one of my worst days at work (it actually happened a couple weeks ago). The credit card machine went down, rude customers, the inappropriate old lady...
norpedo 16
Frozen yogurt makes everything better
SalviBarbie 15
Just you might not want to know the 'everything'..
Kergami 18
What does she plan on doing with that frozen yogurt? O.O
leonchen7498 12
This might sound weird but I think she will eat it
PresidentNorth 16
Craziest idea yet.
Brandi_Faith 34
Actually some women insert it into their ****** to help treat the yeast infection faster. No I'm not joking, and I'm sure this isn't something you really wanted to know, but you did ask. ;)
cadillacgal79 32
Wouldn't she want to see a gynecologist for that?
AnonymousFunFMLs 18
A doctor probably mentioned using yogurt or ice cream to treat her vaginal infection.
Peachy2392 26
I doubt they suggested ice cream to treat it, but suggesting to eat yogurt is plausible. It helps restore good bacteria that antibiotics (which she's probably using to treat the infection) wipe out.
cadillacgal79 32
I would think normal yogurt would do more good than frozen.
ThomasBombadil 31
Be nice, maybe she'll remember you in her will.
smokecloud_ 37
I'm not sure on this one, but I don't think that's how it works...
ripcity2 6
I'm not a specialist but, I'm not sure that's the cure
gemcguire 13
Not sure why you're being voted down, you're right. Most yogurt does not have LIVE bacterial cultures. My guess is that frozen yogurt had less. And the fact that its full of sugar is even more counter productive. Sugar = infection food.
FahQMane 1
It's more of a treatment than a cure.
Bloink 25
she sounds like a lovely person to be seeing often
Kamon97 23
Why are old people so gross sometimes? >.