Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
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Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
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Comments (101)
sartrow 8
it's Aa bird, it's a plane, NO its SUPER ****! :)
RedPillSucks 33
Well, that was a titty situation. Anybody? No? Ok. I'll shuffle off now.
worldclassrager 41
That must have been a sight to see...everyone alright?
mannatee 19
Is your son alright?
mccrightp 29
You nipped out to save you son! That's really the only important thing.
buckdharma 38
It probably just looked like your son forgot his lunch.
Tiber_fml 12
Hurray for boobs. Many uses feed babies, toys for men and slow drivers down so they don't run down the kid.
damnit1989 16
Which part is the FML? You sound more worried about your tit than about your child. That worries me a little
cjmedic 12
That's because her kid is okay.
meegal 12
Your kid is a year and a half old, or even better, a year old. Why do people still count babies age in months? I'm not 252 months old... i'm 21 years old.
hellphone_fml 37
Babies develop really fast so you say their age in months because the difference a month makes is huge, you stop after they hit toddler sizes because they develope but not at the excessive rate babies do.
Mira Lux 26
There is a big difference between a 12 month old and 23 month old. Till the child is about 3-4 you kind of need to count months instead of years.
iseebearbears 27
Just wait until you have kids.
hannah_cheers 30
Something like that happened to me before too. Except I was chasing my nephew. Once babies learn to run, they won't stop. Trust me.