Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
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Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
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Comments (101)
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
smaaash 8
Hopefully, otherwise she made a right tit out of herself for nothing.
jrn 14
I'm assuming we'd be reading a drastically different FML if he wasn't ok
Godsofdracos 15
Today I chased after my baby son who ran into the street and ended up being hit by a car... The worst part was my tit was flailing in the wind while I was running due a strap breaking on my dress. Is that how you two pictured the FML where her son got hit and isn't ok?
Welshite 40
Well that's one way to make him slow down.
cakefete2 31
Yea, flashing "headlights" is a great way for drivers to get each others attention.
nellbell414 13
Or swerve and cause an accident
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
Welshite 40
Should she pat them soothingly and offer words of encouragement to her nipples?
Llama_Face89 34
Nah I can do it for her
Adam5858 17
Well hopefully you caught him but that would be a great story to tell in years time
JBChristian 47
You sure like to think about the years to come don't you?
shay_serendipity 29
"Then there was this one time my **** were flailing about in the neighborhood...* *silence*
Adam5858 17
#17-You know me so well haha
fleuretta 19
As long as the kids alright, no matter what you had to go through.
NisaSayshi 24
How is this even downvoted? People actually hope the kid isnt ok?
crushcrusher 33
Atleast you saved your son.
emily4040 18
Hopefully
cakefete2 31
We can safely assume the son is ok, otherwise, her memory of the event wouldn't be a broken dress strap.
breeyand 15
Lol damn! At least ya sons okay and u got a lil work OUT
1dvs_bstd 41
God bless mothers and their instincts.. even animals. OP, your phrasing tho, lmfrao. Reminds me of the professor in Futurama in the episode 'Neutopia' hope your kid is alright tho.
Schizomaniac 24
Ah, OP was trying to make her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard. Clever, OP. Clever.
ostfaiz 18
milking instance