Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
examancer 0
Let the kid out of your kung-fu grip from time to time. They will make their own mistakes and get hurt... its part of life... let them live it. However, definitely pound the "look both ways" thing into his head and make sure he does it. Getting hurt doesn't need to mean dying.
mikeyellenlee 0
I feel bad for your kid. My parents were giant hypocrites, too.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (36)
ifyouonlyknew77 0
how can your son be starting his first day of school in the middle of february? School starts in the fall...
z_vet 0
I agree with #5.
examancer 0
Let the kid out of your kung-fu grip from time to time. They will make their own mistakes and get hurt... its part of life... let them live it. However, definitely pound the "look both ways" thing into his head and make sure he does it. Getting hurt doesn't need to mean dying.
mechwarrior 0
Some of you guys have a no sense of humor.
mikeyellenlee 0
I feel bad for your kid. My parents were giant hypocrites, too.
quiksta 0
sounds like you probably should have waited a few years before having kids.
maiden_girl 5
Mommie Dearest... lol. Kidding... I hope your son wasn't hurt too badly... My mom zipped my neck up into my coat once... it hurt like hell.
sai_fml 0
@ the people who are crying "Terrible parent" etc. I very much doubt you guys are parents, or remember much about childhood... If the kid was paying attention he probably wouldn't have been dragged into a pole either.
fail_ed 0
hahahaha that had happened to me before!!!! when i was little my sister did the same thing to me. twice. it is now a huge family joke lol.
xsydbabyx 0
Hahaha see stuff like that is classic humor. It made me lol out loud :D
xadeel 11
You laughed out loud out loud??