Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
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Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
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Comments (101)
Wrex 13
Well that went **** up
teotsi 28
Terrible.
False_Stupidity 42
And down and up and down...
stewmin 2
Pics or it didnt happen
lurch87 18
photos? ? haha
cakefete2 31
Makes sense. OP would have stopped, taken pictures, and then had enough time to save her son from getting hit. This will definitely be the illustrated FML as soon as OP can upload the footage she shot.
pwnman 33
Oh my god! Is the dress okay????
JBChristian 47
Worried about the dress? -_- Is the child okay?!
aire101 16
..,and that would be the joke you obviously didn't get.
glabberfasted 16
WHOOSH!
robotiick7 23
*WOOSH* hey #18 did you hear that? That's the sound of sarcasm going right over your head.
the_Jessicaaa 11
Ur a good mom
icandothecancan 24
OP here, thank you FML staff for taking the time to correct my errors in grammar. However, I strongly believe the way I worded the FML made it much funnier. Anyways, enough complaining from me. I love this site. My child is fine, the dress has yet to be repaired, and my ego was slightly inflated by the look of admiration I received from the driver.
briggsopposed 8
******* liar
abhi95 31
Can you please change your profile picture to one of yourself in it? So that we can get a clearer picture of how the fml played out.. If you know what I mean!
OysterPearls 33
It's good to know everything is alright now, (minus the dress), hope it can be salvaged!
beaverteaser 16
hooray for boobies
Chibi_Kitten 24
Atleast the driver isn't going to report you for public indecency...
91hayek 31
So it was a male driver? Or a female who was just as impressed? At least that's better than revulsion which would cause panic which would result in an accident.
91hayek 31
Your off the shoulder probably made the driver have to get on the shoulder.
ill_Will95 9
Whatever it takes to a save a child.
KuzzBuzz3 15
At least you got the drivers attention?
beaverteaser 16
your **** saved the day