Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
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Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
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Comments (101)
rdenkewicz 11
Hey! Whatever works!
Brilliant66star 17
Your child is alive; just be thankful.
Chas4739 5
At first I thought is said 18 year old and I was so confused, people should really stop counting months after 12 months. Cuz I'm 16 years old, not 192 months old
Phoebe18 14
Or you could learn to read properly and not complain about the way someone counts their child's age. Who cares if someone says their child is 14 months instead of a year old. With in one month their development stage can change so quick so stating their age in months helps a lot of people know what stage of growing and learning the child would be up to. Stop complaining
JJ_86 22
Flash flash.. Slow down!!!!
31OctoberLove 2
honey, where was the bra?!
91hayek 31
Most women are averse to bras when the straps could show for spaghetti strapped dresses or strapless dresses or off shoulder dresses. She could have worn a strapless bra but they are uncomfortable and impractical. Or so I hear.
31OctoberLove 2
if a girl has more than an A cup (which sounds to be the case), 95% of dresses aren't going to have the support these flappy, tittyknockers need.
icandothecancan 24
Excellent response, lwtumn! I actually was enjoying a bit of freeboobing while lazing around my house on a Sunday morning. Also, I stopped breastfeeding my son back in March. ;)
lauras942012 4
One. Your child is one.
wellfuckmerunnin 3
year and a half. your son is a year and a half. Or round up. -.-
AloysiusWeasley 15
No Gage, nooo! D: Sorry, couldn't resist. ;)
VyronBuckingham 9
Never heard that one before
urlifesuxbad 1
1 year old son* none of that months shit. to god damn confusing