Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
Eggs6131 14
1½ year old. Not 18 months. If you don't stop now, it'll go on forever, and it'll get confusing. Imagine, in 14½ years "look at our little boy! All grown up! Sweet 192 months, huh?"
Godsofdracos 15
To the dipshits saying to post only in years, never reproduce unless you have enough financial stability to afford someone to take care of the child who knows the different stages of a infants growth. They grow very rapidly and different things happen at each stage which is why it will ALWAYS be measured in months to at least 3 - 4 years old. If you can't do the simple math of 18 months or 14 months; stop bitching and go back to second grade.
puffthekraken 7
I -HATE- when people say 18 months, after 12 months why don't people just start saying one year, two year, etc.
Witchylady 18
Weren't you wearing a bra? Hope your son was ok
pitapizzaparty 18
Why dont people just say 1 years old ? Or 1and a half . I mean it would be ridiculous for me to say im 300 months old ? So why dont they go by years after the first
SarahBearah1995 11
Before the age of 2 or 3, development happens so rapidly that the distinction of age must be made in months. For example, a 13 month old may not be able to walk, but a 23 month old should be able to almost dress him/herself. Both would be considered 1 year old, yet they are vastly different in development.
pitapizzaparty 18
Ohh i see
brandoneyez1 25
This is just funny.
valdania 18
Oh my god, just say your one year old. -__- I don't need to know his PRECISE age
MikeRulz 15
Why dont you just say 1 and a half
LotsOfConfusion 9
I'm glad your son is ok and you can find the humor! How horrifying when the rugrats start running!
Ironmayhem 22
Well, thats one way to get his attention...