Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
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Top comments
cjmedic 12
Calm your ****.
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your son is okay (?) :)
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Comments (101)
nattlecakes 19
Why weren't you wearing a bra?
Godsofdracos 15
The same reason a guy doesn't have to wear boxers.... Because you are NOT required to.
skyeyez9 25
This needs to be illustrated!
RedPillSucks 33
You just want to see the artist draw some boobies.
icandothecancan 24
Not gonna lie, I'll laugh my ass off if this gets illustrated. I'd print it off and hang it in my house with pride.
Cubobles 7
Do your boobs hang low do the wobble to the flow
Loboman 6
Mmm Mama. Mama
eRapper69 10
I bet the driver didn't mind :)
aleena525 4
I think that was me driving
Ishilied 11
I'd be more concerned about your son than your shame. <<;
Gh0stlyPhire 8
I don't quite get how you're in boot with phone/internet access. We barely got phone calls for holidays.
AmusedButton 7
**** covered; child dead after being hit by car. Parent cant work gate. News @ 11
anonnomouslifee 5
Pretty sure he's 1 year