Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, I walked into our office and everyone started laughing. It turns out that I'd been the only one not in on the joke to come in dressed as a character from our favorite TV show. However, I'd dressed in normal work clothes. I’m the boss. FML
Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML
Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML
Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML
Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NoobHat 6
I really hope you had a Twix.
FYLDeep 26
Jack-o-ass!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
bbedlock_fml 7
Try telling him you're colourblind!
HoboSmeller 6
if OP said they were colorblind, how could they tell if their bosses wife was wearing an orange shirt in the first place?
kaprookie 3
Be honest, tell him his wife looks like a man in a pumpkin suit. Or throw a teaspoon of vinegar in his eye and kidnap a plastic tub and eat some grapes. Everything will be alright.
bugmenotmofo 34
Don't expect any promotions in the future.
DK1234567 8
Should have said that you couldn't tell cause the picture was to small
butterz1839 3
Sometimes it's hard to tell
FYLDeep 26
Jack-o-ass!
FMLucky 5
Hahahaha so win
NoobHat 6
I really hope you had a Twix.
bossroyd 4
Need a moment
m0tl3ycru3 0
Chew it over with twix
BlAzEtHiS 0
Damn thats about a bitch. Need a minute? Grab a trix.
DankTurtle 0
Its twix
xiaoxaio 5
no he meant trix
wolfgirl18 3
*Twix lmao what a fail
KiddNYC1O 22
48- There's obviously a reference there so shut up.
DontForgetMe4 0
"A beautiful pumpkin! "
That0therguy 4
"Not in a big way!... Shit."
evilscorpi 29
Im guessing there both big where you couldn't tell whos who?
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for having to be the guy who made a funny comment when you saw the picture... Grow up...
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Shoulda had a V8
dadof2 4
Wanna Get Away???