Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregnant, she replied, "Is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told a coworker I loved her cute baby bump, and asked when 'the little guy' was due. She glared at me and said, “I had the baby two months ago. You saw him a month ago, here, in this office.” FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
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Top comments
Ozmat 0
ydi for being so self conscious you need to lie, say you're not pregnant and she feels awful
Lounia_fml 8
I'm curious as to why you were in the baby department if you're not pregnant?
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Comments (54)
KrazieKleo 13
Liar liar pants on fire...umm...was trying to think of something but I fail haha
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You're not the only fat person in the US.. if you don't like being fat, which you clearly don't, get of your ass and do summin 'bout it! Good luck(:
iluffmcrandbvb 1
who said anything about being fat??
IStoleTheCookies 16
well obviously someone thought OP was pregnant.. and when you are pregnant you ain't exactly skinny marge
nowIshallrise 0
Well, the woman was probably only asking because she was shopping in the baby department.
caitlin21holly 0
hanging from a telephone wire
USAF_girl 3
haha fatty
derpherp 0
Supergirl no one cares what you say, as long as you are a Justin lover. We walk away -_-
lacrossekid 0
Justin bieber isn't even real !! quit Watching cartoons
Spenerish 0
What's a beaver look like? Well, it looks kinda like a girl, and it chew on wood.
Bubblerider 3
liar liar plants for hire! (@fml)
cherry26272627 6
12-year olds named "supergirl" with Justin beiber as their picture really shouldn't be on fml...
Ozmat 0
ydi for being so self conscious you need to lie, say you're not pregnant and she feels awful
TheDrop 0
OP deserves it for being a push over. I would of asked the lady if she wants to feel the baby kick... then I'll punch her in the mouth
LexxyLiime 0
nah o.o I agree with 2 [:
VinegarStrokes 0
Correction, she doesn't feel awful- she feels awkward and the OP feels awful after having been reminded of how overweight she is.
Ozmat 0
80- if you were any sort of a human being you'd feel awful for saying something like that
cathyfang1533 12
Imagine if OP was actually a guy...
lolli667 0
hahaha wow that just sucks!!
Lounia_fml 8
I'm curious as to why you were in the baby department if you're not pregnant?
thesunsetglow_fml 8
It's cute to walk through there sometimes and look at all the little shoes and things :) Of course, she could have been shopping for a present for a friend or coworker or family member. It's unfortunate when they leave these things out!
Rawrzie 0
baby showers, or maybe a baby's birthday. think before you comment. ;P
wicker75 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she was probably walking through depressed she can't get anyone to sleep with her BC she's a fat ass and will never have kids.
IStoleTheCookies 16
fat people still get the love. certain men dig fat chicks, they are nicknamed 'chubby-chasers' and also just cos you're big don't mean you won't get no one.
yummycupcakegirl 0
Well, she could have been shopping for a gift.
OhhDamnnnnn 3
**** you.!
lhasselb 0
Ever think she knew someone else that's having a baby. Jeez.
sheerem 7
Maybe she already has a baby…
sulitak 27
shopping for someone else. my SIL and a bunch of my cousins got pregnant long before I did
chuksnwali 34
Aren't you a dick #28
fantasyworld 39
I like looking at the cute little clothing and shoes.
FweakofCydonia 40
Maybe she's an aunt or something?
sweetpotato 12
so there's no such thing as buying someone a gift who has a baby ?
CutiePie_101 7
YDI for being a liar.
muchagente 5
just for matters of staying logical: "ydi" means "you deserve it". the fml part is being asked when she is due. so she can't have deserved it for lying, unless you follow some kind of damn uncool religion.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Actually her lying is a major part of the FML, and I'm pretty sure most if not all major religions condemn lying in a situation like this...
Itsthatwolf 0
Cutie pie is cuhuute
Chrissy93 4
then why where you shopping there
MissFukMyLuck 0
baby shower? relatives?
MissFukMyLuck 0
well damn girl :( go to the gym, get some loving, and start feelin like the beautiful woman you are!!!
Caz_the_Spaz 6
well. that sucks.
mintcar 10
Were you shopping for someone else?
corporatescoundr 25
I tell myself I won't do this but mint... you are gorgeous love that is all
AnneFTW 17
I have no sympathy for people who are so overweight they look pregnant. Sort yourself out.
ihatedumbasses 6
totally agree
flippinsweet17 0
I hope 14 ends up with one of those diseases that causes you to be extremely obese and you can't do anything about it. I wouldn't have any sympathy for her.
toelie 26
#14: Few people are "so overweight" they look pregnant. The more overweight they are, the more they look just overweight. It's more likely OP isn't that obese but has a pot belly or something.
Kelita 0
#14 I don't feel sorry for UGLY bitches likes you.
TardxxxCake 4
#14: Uh yeah... that comment was just a little uncalled for... please learn to think before you type. God, stupid people make my head hurt...
thewifey310 7
way to be an insenitive bitch 14!! ur obviously an unhappy person considering the fact tht theres FTW next to ur name, im guessin that doesnt stand for "for the win"!! correct me if im wrong!! but tht doesnt mean its ok to say ****** up shit just bkus u hate ur life!! or as ur headline says FTW!!
5t3ff1k4h 47
54 - You're a moron. FTW does stand for "for the win"... it doesn't stand for "**** the world" as you're implying. She's conceited, as it appears through her name (Anne For The Win). Nothing about her comment implies she hates the world and/or her life. 14 - That was rude. Not all of them can help it. You could have worded that better; I do agree that those who can help themselves should. It makes me facepalm, for lack of a better phrase, when they don't because it simply means they're lazy. I do, however, feel sorry for those who genuinely can't lose the weight. Those people are few and far between, though.
feelxthexpressur 0
#14, if someone's a little overweight, at least it's possible for them to hit the gym and work on it (if they even want to, some people are comfortable with who they are, as I'm sure you are not). However, people like you can't fix the ignorance that plagues them. Remember everyone, you can fix "fat," or "ugly," but you can't fix stupid(:
agirlnamedlogan 5
14: Your stupidity amazes me. You must be young (judging from your immaturity), and when you're young, you don't really get fat unless you were born that way. Then when you hit your 40's, or get pregnant, you gain weight and it gets EXTREMELY difficult to stay in shape. I hope your stupidity kills you. We don't need idiots like you to breed.
Gloritank 8
You can't fix stupidity, but ignorance can be fixed.
beccusmaximus 0
I find it interesting that when a female bitches about fat women, they get berated and other commenters tell her what a hideous whorebitch she is. But when any of the guys on here make sexist comments and say things like, "No one wants to **** a fattie," it gets nothing but "LOLZ ikr?!" from other commenters. Just an observation.
lhasselb 0
I didn't show too much when I was 4 months pregnant. I just had a little lump. Just because she didn't look anorexic doesn't mean she was fat.