dad
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ed5509
Chesapeake, United States
Revelations
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
MGZ
United States
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
OhFseriously123
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Oops54321
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
angrymother
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All kinds of wrong
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
awskme
France 🌶️ Spicy
Disrespectful
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
aprouddaddy
Paris, France
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
dammn 0
LMFAO #11 . umm wait till shes sleeping ? it would suck if i heard my parents having sex .
skeez_fml 0
i feel bad for your wife if you're answering texts in the middle of sex. and what do you expect? no kid wants to think that their parents actually have sex...and they definitely don't want to hear/see it. i hope one day she is having sex and you hear here doing it...maybe in a couple years though :)
christinaaa_fml 0
hahaha :P
Bunbu 8
Yeahhhhhhhh. You deserved that 100%. At least have the decency to wait until your children, the babies you raised, you changed their diapers and put them through school are out of the house. Disgusting. I hope you hear her having tantric, amazing sex one day.
carriealana 0
agree with #5 and #6.
LifeScrewsUsAll 0
"why were you checking texts in the middle of sex?" CLEARLY PEOPLE he was recording it all on his phone. hahahahaha Deserved - but how embarassing lol
commonsense 0
YDI for checking ur texts while having sex
Spitfire_fml 0
Goddamn, man! Wait til she's out the house! Come on! That is funny. I imagine it wasn't so for your daughter. I feel bad for her though.
footballcrazy24 0
ahhahahahah. kinda awkward?
foraz 0
@53: Cybering on WoW doesn't count as "perfectly normal, run-of-the-mill, sexually active college student." Also, have fun with figuring out what "perfectly normal, run-of-the-mill, sexually active _______" means in any case. Unless you stick with "It means what I says it means."