Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
CaptainCrunch_fml 0
What the hell is wrong with some of you people? It's ******* ridiculous what some of you are saying, and I hope everyone who said "Oh, that little bitch should respect my sex life with my wife, she can shut her mouth while listening to me ****." does NOT have kids. Teens realize that their parents have sex, yeah. Does that mean we should have to hear it? NO! It's weird, and yeah, it's somewhat scarring. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't have sex, but if you take on the responsibility of having a child in the house, at least be quiet, lock the damn door, but best of all, wait until the kid is not in the house!!!
jeeeeanie53 0
seriously? how would u feel if u walked in ur own home-in your own room and heard both ur parents going at it. can u serously not hold urselves for a couple hours until she left. its called common courtesy. ull be seeing a post from ur daughter as well : "i was doin my homework but i couldnt concentrate cuz my parents were too busy having sex in the next room"
bejeeezus 0
well i sure as hell hope i never hear my parents having sex.
Seegtease 0
All of you who think that parents shouldn't be having sex when kids are home are either NOT parents or have seriously lousy relationships with their spouse. And it has nothing to do with scarring the kid. Scarring lasts through life, hence the name. Once the kid understands sex, the "scarring" is entirely gone. And this does not do anything unhealthy for the kid, and there's no scientific facts to back up otherwise. Most parents have at least one, if not both, out during the day for work. During this time, most of the kids are at school. Once the parents are both home, the kids are also home. Even if one kid goes out with a friend for the evening, there's usually one kid in the house at any given time. The odds of being home alone without any kids becomes maybe once a week, maybe once a month. I don't know if you guys are all virgins or what, but if you're married to somebody and sexually attracted to them, you like to have sex more often than monthly. What some of you are saying is the parents should never have sex, and if you think that, you're ******* retarded, or your 12, or both. And #53, who cares if it's also the daughters home, it's not her HOUSE. She doesn't pay the bills, her name is not on the mortgage. It's not her house, she just lives there. She has absolutely no authority to speak on what should and shouldn't happen in the household. I hope you never get married, because your husband is going to be severely disappointed that once he has kids, he can't have sex with you anymore.
withered 30
You are a **** and I hope you don't have children. Your lack of consideration for your own family is beyond belief. I hope you do not have children if you view them as property. YOU wanted children and it is your OBLIGATION to take care of them. They don't owe you shit and they aren't your slaves. Find your power trip elsewhere. Noone said not to have sex, they said it to have it discretely if children are in the house. Or go out of the house yourself. And shove the "hurr durr, you no pay money, you have no rights, I own you" attitude up your ass, discretely, so your daughter doesn't hear you moan.
Rugrats123 0
GOOD. it's disturbing hearing anyone, let alone your parents have sex while you're above them. seriously you would feel the same way if you heard your parents.
Lila_fml 0
How is something natural and perfectly okay disturbing?? Isn't hiding sex sending the wrong message to your child. I think so. There is no reason why sex should be taboo. Also 14, isn't that young, its time for kids to start learning about how relationships work at that age and you want your child to see what a good, healthy relationship is like in their home environment. When you start hiding things, children are bound to think that there is something wrong or dirty with whatever you are hiding. Which is going to set them up for more problems down the road.
marris 0
why are you having sex where your daughter can hear any way? are you trying to get off on the fact that your young teen offspring is listening to your every pant? disgusting
coolcourt143 0
that is sooooooooooooo funny & i love you daughter for doing that. but dude, wait till she sleepsover a friends house! your crazy! your daughter prob comes on this website and shes going to read this and be like FML thats my dad
I_Rock69 0
#11 its more like "Today I was having sex with my husband, and right in the middle, he picks up his phone to check a text message... It was from his daughter. FML."
KorbenDeck 5
Get her some ear plugs