Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
applepie28 0
you deserved that one, wait until your alon
i_get_a_laugh 0
That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. Wow, you deserved that one.
ohgreat22 0
I agree with #15. my parents have sex when i'm home, and i don't like it. i usually turn up the tv or music and go in another room. later while i'm using the bathroom, i see a condom in the trash. i really don't want to know when my parent have sex. it's something they can do when i'm out of the house.
usn4 0
u were probably being to noisy but also, u let ur 14 yr old daughter use a cell phone, u know how many other texts she sent during the time u were getting it on?
Darrenlee69 0
wtf
x3audraaax3 0
maybe you should wait till youre daughter is gone to do that. but if i was in a situation like that i would probably leavee if i heard that shit goin on with my parents. i don't wanna listen to my parents doin it. **** thattt. if youre daughterr doesn't leave or wont and you need some badly be quieter!
elloxnattie 0
mkay, well all of you saying how kids have to think of their parents as sexual beings and respect their bounderies... if you're going to have a kid, you're not going to be able to screw whenever you want to. plus, you need to set an example for your kid, unless you want the kid to do the same thing to you one day.
briannaxvx 0
Alright this is his daughter, it didn't 'scar' me. He didn't check the phone during it, he asked me about it the next morning. **** all of you who called me a little bitch, I'm close with my parents and they were embarassed but they atleast laughed about it.
briannaxvx 0
Oh and p.s. It wasn't the first time, and my friends were over aha.
theone2225 0
hahahahaha