Today, my fiancé got his associate degree in the mail. Wanting to surprise him when he got home, I opened it to display it before going out to buy groceries. His dog got a hold of his degree and shredded it to pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my high school diploma came in the mail. I accidentally ripped the diploma while opening it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I got home to find my dog had found and eaten my wedding rings. I get married in 2 days. FML
Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
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Top comments
Lonnell 7
why did you open up his mail anyway?
julfunky 29
I’ve met dogs like that and every single one made this a habit, so the owner knew better than to leave any mail, document, check, or whatnot in their reach. I won’t say YDI but was this really a surprise? Did this dog really just randomly choose to rip up that one and only document?
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Comments (19)
julfunky 29
I’ve met dogs like that and every single one made this a habit, so the owner knew better than to leave any mail, document, check, or whatnot in their reach. I won’t say YDI but was this really a surprise? Did this dog really just randomly choose to rip up that one and only document?
raven_of_azarath 35
When my cat, as a kitten, was teething, she would go out of her way to chew on things, even if they were “out of her reach.” In that time, she chewed up my Ethernet cable under my entertainment center, my DS charger on the middle of a bookshelf (keep in mind, she wants like one pound), and my certificate of acceptance to an honor society, on the top of a bookshelf that I could only reach on a step stool.
RichardPencil 32
Plot twist: His degree was to be a Vet Tech! Dunh-dunh-dunh!!! Your dog was pissed that he got a degree for expressing his anal glands over and over.
Lonnell 7
why did you open up his mail anyway?
tounces7 28
"Fiance". I mean, I imagine they're close enough and have an understanding between them that it's not really a big deal.
devi_916 39
I'm guessing they live together, and it's a common occurrence as per a longstanding agreement. I opened my husband's mail for years before we married because he preferred it that way. If I left things unopened he would ask me, "Why didn't you just open it?" So I do.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Still not ok. They’re not married.
Chris Smith_1291676952 8
'His' dog?
PhoenixChick 26
Tell your fiance to take the dog's obediance training certificate and chew it into pieces.
tounces7 28
And this is why I will only ever adopt an older dog. Young dogs are a pain in the ass.
alycion 39
Don’t get a husky. Notorious paper shredders at any age. My first girl lived until 16 1/2 and was plotting against my sanity until the end.
SneezyBear 27
Surely an older dog with bad habits would be even harder to train than a younger dog...
Nadine 21
Yeah, I think there's an expression about this.... 🤔
raven_of_azarath 35
One thing I have learned from having pets is that, no matter what precautions you put in place (like placing it on the very top of a bookshelf), you fur baby will get it if they want.
saffy66 34
That’s why you don’t open other people’s mail - besides which, it’s a criminal offence.
Rebekah Knight 7
That’s why we have frames
Taurus_ChicKa 37
It's a federal offense to open someone else's mail. Karma kicked in before the cops could! :D