dad
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ed5509
Chesapeake, United States
Revelations
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
MGZ
United States
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
OhFseriously123
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Oops54321
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
angrymother
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All kinds of wrong
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
awskme
France 🌶️ Spicy
Disrespectful
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
aprouddaddy
Paris, France
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
FuzzMonkey09 0
You totally deserved that. Cant wait til shes out of the house?
djtelekinesis 0
Dude, that's just teaching your daughter to have a good relationship with your spouse. Just don't go telling her to stop when she's with some guy in the next room.
endingcooks 0
It's stupid when people say "teach her a lesson" nobody wants to hear their parents having sex! wait till shes out of the house.
rachelforgot2 0
hahahahaha o wow id feel weird if i was her poor girl! at least be queot when your home and she is there! dont want to scar her for life! hahahahhaaaaa
bongo200 1
First, I laughed SEcond, what are you retarded? Having sex while your daughter is home? -_- Third, WHY did you check your phone >.<
Astroglide1000 0
why would you answer a text message when youre having sex? thats what i want to know.
alex_vik 1
Maybe you shouldn't have sex when your daughter can hear you?
friscosoonerkid 3
Just have her put headphones in and make her listen to her music.
measishouldbe 17
But then she will still know about it coz u basically just told her its happening by asking her to listen to music.
were_giraffe 2
dont answer the phone if she can't stop herself from interfering with your sex life with your wife, she doesn't need that cell phone. She needs to respect your marriage and respect your boundaries. Actually the fact she sent you a text on purpose, knowing you were making love to your wife is somewhat disturbing. It sounds like she wants your attention and is jealous that you're spending it on your wife and not her. so again... boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. and she is NOT the center of your family
truelyawesome 0
but wud u enjoy gearing that?
Apoptosis 0
Sounds like your daughter should invest in some headphones.
greenman_fml 0
you should have made more noise and yelled louder, then thrown your used condom on her pillow. that will teach her not to interrupt you during mommy and daddy time