Clearly the husband isn't the only one in the wrong here. The daughter was at fault just as much as he was. It takes two to cheat and the daughter obviously knew the man was married to her mom's best friend.

Technically, she's at fault, but not "just as much", since she's not the one who made the commitment.

Valid points, +1.

"Your daughter doing something like that". While sure, the daughter probably shouldn't be sleeping with a married man, OP should tell her friend about her HUSBAND doing something like that. I can't stand when people blame the other woman. The daughter isn't cheating on someone (as far as we know), so don't blame her.

I'm with #6 on this one: the daughter didn't do this on her own!

Unless he raped her, she willing got involved with a married man. Yes, he's a dick and shouldnt cheat, but she knew he was married. That makes her equally to blame.

#6 if the other woman knows the guy is in a relationship, the woman is also somewhat to blame.

I don't know if I consider the daughter "just as much at fault," because it was the husband that had an obligation, but to say she has no blame and hate the fact that "the other woman is being blamed," just isn't right in this instance. The daughter clearly knew he was married, she knowingly HELPED defile the husband's marriage and relationship, if she didn't give him the opportunity, if she would have had morals and realized she'd be helping someone hurt another person and said to him "no, you're married, go home to your wife," none of this would have happened. She is essentially an accomplice, and on top of all that, she has 0 remorse, which is clear with the statement "you shouldn't have come home so early." Cheaters like this, they're the worst, cause they know they're doing something wrong, that's why they hide it, but they don't care it hurts people and when they're finally caught, they'll blame everyone but themselves and will come up with every justification imaginable.

#18 I like u.

Sleeping with married men isn't great, but it's not a single chick looking for casual sex's job to manage a married man's morals. She didn't make any vows of loyalty to anyone, he did. If he's looking to cheat, he'll find somebody, and regardless of who it is his wife will get hurt. I'm not saying go out and sleep with married people, but if someone cheats it's 100% their responsibility.

Like, do you really think if OP's daughter said "Go home to your wife," that none of this would have happened? No, he'd just go to some other woman's house. He's the cheater. She's not great, but she's not breaking her loyalty to anyone.

I've never understood this line of thought, as if it is somehow only the responsibility of the married people to keep their marriage sacrosanct and intact. As a good friend of mine is fond of saying, 'marriage is the worst thing in the world... except for not being married'. Marriage is a social contract between two people *in the context of the larger society*. It is up to ALL of us in that society to help married people (who understandably often have a difficult time of it, with all the temptation in this world for them to be unfaithful) by supporting their marriage and helping them live a life of better integrity and fidelity. Anyone who cheats with a married person is guilty of adultery. (That's not my opinion, that's a fact.) They may be a '9' on the guilty scale while the married person is a '10', but they certainly bear a great deal of guilt for their actions. And even someone who *enables* a couple to cheat is a guilty contributor. OP's daughter is guilty of helping this husband break his vows, and he is guilty of breaking them. To say that she is somehow blameless is disingenuous at best.

36, that's fine to think they're guilty, but it doesn't change that the married person is breaking a commitment and unless they are raped, they are responsible for breaking the commitment, not the person who they had sex with.

36, your one of those people who has kids and then brings them to a fancy restaurant and lets them cry and ruin everyone's meal just because "being a parent is hard I deserve nice things too," aren't you? Look, I've got student loans to pay, family to take care of, a job to work, my own relationships to manage. I don't need to add every random couple's marriage to that list. I personally don't even see the point in getting married, do it if you want, but the relationship, not the title, is what matter to me. If you decide to get married, that's on you. You decided to do it, so it's your responsibility. Likewise, if I ever cheat, that's on me, not on the guy I slept with. I'm a big girl, I knew what I was doing, it's not some random guy's job to make sure I'm a good person. If my boyfriend ever cheats, that's on him, not on the girl he slept with. I'm not dating that girl, that girl doesn't owe me shit.

#36, couldn't have said it better myself.

#51, That's the most selfish and low moral conclusion of social responsibility I've ever heard of. If you knowingly get "involved" with somebody that's in a relationship, you're just as corrupt as they are. What's that common term they have for such people?

#6 #30 #31 #51 Ok but imagine this; you see a store being robbed. Do you think "Well, that stuff is getting stolen anyway, might as well take it"? Just because he might just go out and cheat with someone else doesn't make it ok to be the one he's cheating with. Helping someone cheat is hurting the other person in the relationship and rather than allowing or helping it happen, you should tell the person so they can know whats happening behind their back. It's true that they're not just as guilty but they are still guilty.

When I was a teen, I met my mom's friends and usually their spouses. I don't know how it works in all families, but I wouldn't be surprised if OP and her best friend knew each other's families as well--which means the daughter knew she was screwing a married man.

This is her own mother's best friend's husband, there is too much of a connection there for this to be mere coincidence. Most people meet their parent's friends and their spouses, especially best friends, I've met most of my parents friends as well as their significant others. This girl is 20, not 5, she'd have to be completely clueless to not know that this is her mom's friend's husband. And the statement she made just supports that, "you shouldn't have come home so early," that wasn't embarrassment due to getting caught having sex, that was guilt because both of them (husband and the daughter) got caught doing something wrong and she was trying to pass off the guilt by somehow trying to make it the mother's fault.

You tell us this, now?!!