Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, thinking maybe she could spare 5 minutes of her time and requires no work at all, I asked my wife for a handjob. She said no and told me I can “do it yourself.” FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
_Heisenberg__ 15
you kinda set yourself up for that one
xwingtwo 15
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
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Comments (138)
soulebelius 17
Isn't that normal for a cuckold?
JohnTheDonJuan 11
Do you understand the term cuckold?
soulebelius 17
A guy whose wife has sex with other people and usually treats her husband like an annoyance.
JohnTheDonJuan 11
The first part was right. The second part isn't necessarily part of a cuckold.
hamrtym 15
he said "usually". What did he miss?
pedinhuh 23
At this point, most of men would cheat Just to get laid. But since you've come here to share this, i'm assuming you didn't do it yet, if that's true then I'm giving you all The props because it takes lots of patience and maturity to not cheat your wife in that situation...
Merylwen 24
No, "not cheating" only takes being a decent human being.
feven 32
Maybe try to be more romantic?
Patriots21 14
"Hey baby, you look fine as a chocolate covered strawberry. You ready to take the next flight to pleasure town?"
jawarston 24
22 you know she under age. Your next flight will be behind bars with that.
ChopSuey444 20
#80, considering the quotation marks this is obviously not a remark directed to #20... he's either making a reference or stating something funny OP could've said to his wife...
ZoroMiHawk 25
She didn't have time because she was going to meet up with Zack for some kisses?
JuliusSeizure 18
I understand this reference.
TheAnalPickle 13
and play with his penis a little bit
ligerzero459 24
Oh God, it's already meta
graphicstyle7 17
Begging for sex is not a good thing. Counselor, now. Or have a really deep heart to heart. This situation can either resolve itself with some newfound understanding... or it will slowly unravel, badly. Asking you to just be ok with begging for sex is NOT an option.
swanheart 35
I agree with your comment on that begging for sex is not something that should be happening in a healthy relationship however fml says 'begging for sex for once' which makes me think that this is a rare occasion for him I.e. They have a healthy regular sex life but on this occasion he wanted it and she didn't so he felt he had to beg for it. There's not enough information to make a judgement either way on which party is being unreasonable, in my opinion. She could have been off sex for weeks in which case yes, a heart to heart is needed to work out why this is or he could be wanting sex for the third time that day while she is trying to do the laundry before heading off to work! :-/ hopefully we hear from the op at some point to get more information
CooperRage 13
Thank you #67. My thoughts exactly on this. We can't assume they're having problems with this little information. It could very well be a playful jab on her part and they both laughed about it after.
Tarlachia 33
Romance her. Intrigue her. If you engage her mind, you'll engage her body. If you do it right, it leads to the best kind of sex. No treasure is easily found. The same goes for a good woman. The best women provide a sort of hunt for her husband to find her in her own beauty. The best men challenge her in his actions to say he is more than enough for her. Trust me, it works. My wife says nearly daily how much she loves our relationship. Sure we have our occasional spats, but we always make up before the end of the day. That's one of our rules.
itooamscrewed 10
Maybe focus on her pleasure instead of your own?
kmelad 15
begging a woman, pathetic.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Ah yes, there is the MRA-esque creep response I was expecting.
kmelad 15
How the hell did you reply? do you have a computer in the kitchen or what!
MissBehavin77 18
I feel for you, I have to beg my husband sometimes and get lame excuses too so I know what it's like. Good for you for at least trying though but maybe try a different approach, a little romance.
vikky538 29
if you ask ..that's what happens ... sending signals is the best way for sex ...and its romantic...