Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, thinking maybe she could spare 5 minutes of her time and requires no work at all, I asked my wife for a handjob. She said no and told me I can “do it yourself.” FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
_Heisenberg__ 15
you kinda set yourself up for that one
xwingtwo 15
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
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Comments (138)
The_Avatar 22
Dont lower yourself man. Stand up for yourself! If she doesnt appreciate you get someone who does!
imslappy 8
time to divorce her ass...
PeaceFull 3
Begging? What happened to seduction and foreplay ?
kirbs19 37
BUUUUUUUUUURN! Bet that shut you up pretty quick!
_noelani_ 8
fyl, but you were asking for it(as a joke)
hoshikitsune 11
Begging isn't sexy
pandanrex 5
Show her you can do it
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Either get comfortable with taking care of business yourself or get a new wife. A proper relationship consists of two people that have an equal sex drive. It's no fun being in a relationship where one person drives the other one crazy just being around them, but the other one feels nothing.
mullet3388 16
Time to get divorced
aids9 6
Ohhhh!!!!! Shots fired