Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML
Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML
Today, I was cleaning my lazy son’s bedroom when I knocked a full cup out the window, complete with a layer of mould. It landed on the dog, covering him in mouldy, milky coffee. He ran inside, shook it off everywhere, then rolled around to really make sure it was smushed deep into the carpet fibres. FML
Today, I spent all day cleaning the carpets in every room. I own two dogs and a cat, so deodorizing and deep cleaning the carpets is an all-day chore. At 9 p.m., after I was done with the last room, I went out to the living room and saw one of my dogs had been sick all over the place. Had to reclean the carpet. FML
Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in practically every room of the house. She had then rubbed her butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I tried to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
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Top comments
Rebe_fml 4
They're gonna be pissed.
heyred 11
Tell the owners about their dog's strangely concentrated urine that bleached their carpet.
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Comments (56)
Rebe_fml 4
They're gonna be pissed.
sonusingh 0
good one
trick619 0
then u might as well just do the rest of the carpet
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Before any Douche bag says " I see what you did there" F*ck you!
MysticMint 0
ooooh shit
danceyourassoff 0
lol
gutzz 0
Shouldn't have been sitting on a dog anyways.... inconsiderate.
mz_booty 0
move the furniture around they will never know :)
commodore350 0
lol
lol_ironic_life 9
lol I see what you did there and I like! :)
YwTwss 0
lol
HBoks 7
No shit, Sherlock
Life_is_FML 22
Ba dum tiss.
kaylanicole1255 1
Didn't you read what the cleaning spray had in it?? Anddd first! :))
copo37 7
nope
kaylanicole1255 1
Just kidding, Second. Haha Im new to the site so I never get in like the top 10 comments! :p
drebunny 0
lol, embarrassing. You're not first. That should be incentive for not trying to claim first, too risky, lol
sparklywhirligig 0
I was wondering myself how OP didn't take any time to read the can... I mean... those things have like a thousand instructions and what not on them. OP deserves it.
kaylanicole1255 1
Like I said if you read it, I said just kiddinggg!
SuckerPunchurMom 0
You don't want to say first on here. You will get moderated and everyone will start ripping you to pieces. Don't be a **** nugget and just say a real response.
Adamantoise 0
**** nugget. I like the way it rolls on my tongue when I say it.
SuckerPunchurMom 0
haha heard it from a friend. It sounds so dirty though. Yeah can I please have an order of **** nuggets. I would not buy that shit.
Adamantoise 0
It's a beautiful phrase :) I did a Google search and found out a **** nugget is solidified menstrual blood.
trick619 0
sounds like something I'd throw in my cereal. yum
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Let's go digging for **** nuggets! They will be worth more than gold nuggets in the future.
ohSNAPyall 27
Y'all are nassty!
taytaybirdy 5
Pretty! Orange is a very nice color!
techweed 12
they obviously don't think so
StonerkidDGK420 0
Where does it say they think orange isn't a nice color?
sunnysurfchick 0
**** I love giving head.
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
U sir are a moron!
kyusake_huz_DAT 0
Agreed*
marinus_fml 20
YDI for not spraying the spot instead.
J1hill33 12
YDI cuz they said the sprayed the spot but it turned orange
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Doesn't bleach turn things white? You spelled spayed not sprayed. XD
mz_booty 0
your dumb!!! spray your black clothes and see what happens!!! dare ya!!
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Turned pink. Shit.
mz_booty 0
fail!!! it would have turned orange!! d**k head!!
sunnysurfchick 0
who spelled spayed looks like sprayed both times to me?
mz_booty 0
enjoy your message curly
mz_booty 0
and go back to where u came from Australia doesn't want or need you here waste of space!!!!!!
Sprocket 5
Oh it's her booty all right. A big, larry, laden with cellulite, crusty with unmentionables booty. ):
jess6blondie9 3
Smooth move! Check before you use something so accidents like that don't happen. I love the smell of bleach!
Prankster7o7 5
Diesel smells better.
thatguy205 4
Well I killed a skunk, lit it on fire, and placed it under my bed. Yeah I believe I just won.
tona01 16
i like the smell of a rotten corpse i am the winner now
Prankster7o7 5
I like the smell of blood?
SteelCladAngel 0
blood smells like iron and copper it's not a gross smell so...you lose
jess6blondie9 3
Yuck! A lot of people do like the taste of blood. I think it's nasty, it makes me gag.
JFloUnknown 24
giggity, lol
Nimmrodel 11
Give the room a retro feel, you might as well do the whole room now.
kyanisaurus 0
polkadot carpet!
Deeznutzhairy 7
Run Mofo Run!!!!!!
JohnnyBeFML 0
With you on that one..