Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, thinking maybe she could spare 5 minutes of her time and requires no work at all, I asked my wife for a handjob. She said no and told me I can “do it yourself.” FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
_Heisenberg__ 15
you kinda set yourself up for that one
xwingtwo 15
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
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Comments (138)
MooseKnuckle5150 13
There's a bigger problem somewhere in your relationship. Begging for sex will push her farther away. It's not an attractive quality. You're going to have to have a serious talk and perhaps some counseling. I went through this with my first marriage. She had a bunch of internal conflicts and depression and no interest in sex. After two years of trying to work through these conflicts, sex came back into the picture. Too bad she decided to have it with other.
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Other people.*
teamnikster 9
Maybe she doesn't want to have sex because she's asexual?... In that situation, all you can do is compromise or leave. If you want something she doesn't, there's just no other way around it. Don't, I repeat DON'T, cheat. That just puts you in the wrong. There is never a justification for cheating. Break it off if that's what it takes, but please OP don't cheat
Sheepalicious 20
tell her that i wouldnt take very long for you to find someone who would put out
supasupa 1
Maybe you should help her out with things so that she has time and she will love you for the help. Sweet talk her more and hug her plenty
limabeans101029 21
I have to say that being begged for sex when I'm not in the mood and being told "it won't take long" would only turn me off even more. But perhaps there are some bigger issues going on if this happens often
Merylwen 24
I think the reason she's refusing is more likely to be that "Please please pleaaaase have sex with me, I promise it'll be quick!" is not the sexiest thing a man could say.
chikinscratch00 8
lol. ******* sad bro
[email protected] 14
Your wife watch way too much ****. If she starts getting pissed at the things you want to do in bed but gets pissed at you just say "I thought all girls do this" but anyways FYL
Badkarma4u 17
You do realize that all of the things yiu see in **** are things that poeple have been doing for thousands of years.
[email protected] 14
You do realize that not everything in **** is what women do right
Badkarma4u 17
Yeah the people that have been doing that for centuries have been women. They didnt just invent new sex acts when you started watching ****.
Aspirax 13
You definitely shouldn't have to beg for sex. Figure out what's wrong, and fix that. Good luck!
ProfessorMctitie 20
He could just go jack off even though it would be a little depressing