Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
mogan_fml 0
dang. i wish i had a big, strapping young man like you around my house.
trevorus 0
You're one of them manly men, aren't you? Hehe...
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Comments (116)
tangello 0
lmao aww that's cute XD and how do you guys know he's LIVING there? maybe he was visiting! it's quite common for parents to keep their kids rooms for a while and or use it as a guest room.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Because he said usual. That means for a hell of a long time.
emydbby11 8
he meant as in he usually wakes up disoriented
GMSD213 0
HAHAHAHA dude. I dont even know what to say to this one. FYL and YDI i guess.
nukemdukem 8
you cant blame him. if it was early in the morning. Still dark and disoriented. YOU see a dark figure near your bed. What do you do?
xXscream_girlXx 0
lol. hide and hope it can't see me!!
dirtyhippie 0
I don't hide under the doona and wait to be murdered. I am like the FML I accidentally punched my mother in the face when I was sleepy and disorientated (an I'm a woman) But then I didn't say YDI just thought it was funny XD
sarumanthewhite 0
you're 21 and you still live with your mother? PATHETIC just kidding, i'm exactly the same : )
swompgurl29 0
LOL! It's cute and sweet that you admitted to it!!! **Hugs**
24788 7
I have paranoia like that too sometimes. I'll just be in the woods all by myself at night time. I get so ******* freaked out. I'll walk about 200 feet back to camp to find my friends having a good time.
slutmuffin 0
AWWWWW that's ******* adorable!
plethora 3
To quote Chopper: harden the **** up.
Indiana_fml 4
*ROFL* Totally cartoon-like! I can imagine the trembling blanket. But I think it's adorable *gg* BTW, a lot of young people live with their parents. If you are studying in the same city, why take an apartment? Some of you don't seem to have money problems.