Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
mogan_fml 0
dang. i wish i had a big, strapping young man like you around my house.
trevorus 0
You're one of them manly men, aren't you? Hehe...
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Comments (116)
lowcapacityx 0
Hahahaha is it weird that I think that's cute?
Don_fml 0
#76 - to quote Eddie Murphy: "Damn... they got sheets." To the OP: Dude, you're a 21 year old man and you pulled up the blankets?! YDI, my 'man'.
chimmy 0
I think the real FML is that you live at home.
Freddy531994 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! thats funny :)
violinista_pro 0
ROLTLMFAO! Wow...that`s one for the books.
Kdoc_fml 0
Dove... not Dived
Freddy531994 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! thats funny :)
Thegoodtimes 0
I'm 18 and I still get scared shitless when my dad wakes up for work at 5 AM and starts walking around the house. Happens to the best of us. FML
Fenali 0
Ok #23: I understand that it is perfectly fine to be well into adulthood and still live at home with parents. However, #4's question was "If you are 21 why are you still living at home?" Key word: why. You can't answer by that by giving an example. How does saying that your brother, one person in a sea of millions, justifies the reason why the OP might still be living at home, and how there's nothing wrong with it? Are you saying "it's fine because my brother is 25 and lives at home?" That's not a logical justification.
lolffsfml 0
lol @ #26!! haha ur awesome u cn come live at my house lol