Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
mogan_fml 0
dang. i wish i had a big, strapping young man like you around my house.
trevorus 0
You're one of them manly men, aren't you? Hehe...
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Comments (116)
BaldOuting 0
brave to post this and admit your age!
alex_vik 1
#4 - My brother still lives at home and he's 25.
barlessprison 16
Awww that's adorable hahahaha. I bet it made your mom's day.
zargon 1
YDI just for saying "disorientated". The word you are looking for is "disoriented". That will be all, thank you.
fretforyerlatte 0
what's mum doing creeping into your room all ninja-like so early in the morning anyway? she should know that's a terrible idea and SHE'S lucky she didn't walk in and catch a glimpse of her son's morning wood or something.
Art_Vandeley 0
FYL for being 21 and still living at home.
brazillianbabe 0
I am glad you didnt hit her with a baseball bat or something.
Juli_fml 0
#27, read what #9 says i did this one time a few years ago when my dad came in to my room
blackandgold 0
To summarize: "My life is f'ed because I screamed when my mom walked into my bedroom." FYL for thinking this is something worth posting. People can be killed, get cancer, lose all their posessions in a house fire, or get in a horrible car accident... but yes, YOU are the one whose life is f'ed. Nice.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#30: Yeah shut the **** up, FML is for things funny if you don't get the damn gist of it, it isn't for things like that, BECAUSE IT ISN'T FUNNY. You dumbfuck. #25: Enough with the grammar nazi, no one cares. @OP: Lmao, sounds like something I'd do, and have done. But I'm a girl, but anyways I see where you are coming fromXD