Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
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Top comments
razzberry 9
I mean.....honestly you have control here.
RakaI 8
You allowed it to yourself.
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Comments (234)
pyrogirl6622 0
Ok here is way to top it. Stop hanging about the trashy bats and clubs. Anything like country and hip hop clubs. I don't know about where you live but they wave you done with the wand things before you go in and by the end of the night the cops are always called.
chickenpie90 16
That's terrible.
wickedevaa 4
What a great fml. Yay category fillers! Ydi
tildoorf84 7
meth is bad mkay
PokeSmot 10
Lol, dude. xD
XoXoKaylynXoXo 5
Well if you drove, you were accompanying them, and you drank the alcohol, so I would t call them the idiots.
marit1997 4
How the hell did your post get confirmed in the first place :/
YoUglyMama 0
You were always white trash
sectorleader 2
You happened, plain and simple. If you can't remember what went wrong, maybe you should take time off FML and reevaluate your life.
sicnesses 6
Here's what happened- you got wasted and f'd up your life. I blame you for this one dude
FlameingDuncecap 3
extasy ***** u up bro :D