Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
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Top comments
razzberry 9
I mean.....honestly you have control here.
RakaI 8
You allowed it to yourself.
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Comments (234)
Bently24 6
How is this an FML if you had complete controll of not being such a dumbass?
HomeAl0ne 20
Hmmmm, just sounds like you are reaching your full potential. Have you done an Anthony Robbins course lately?
MyF_ckingLuck 0
sounds to me like you're desperate for acceptance no matter what losers give you the pathetic attention you're looking for. try making better friends before your mind and reputation are gone.
jennifer6848 0
Dump him!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I clicked YDI as soon as I read that you were driving to the liquor store naked. You don't know what happened to you? Well it's pretty obvious - you and your stupid friends got drunk (behind a bush no less), the latter of which also got high and made you drive to the store in the first place in nothing but a dressing gown. So yeah, that's what happened in between being a good citizen and becoming white trash, and YDI.
PokeSmot 10
Don't rip on him/her. This is fmylife.com, not bitchabouteverything.com. Danii, I know what it's like to be in that situation. It gets better if you ditch those kind of people.
irritatedone 5
Time for new friends. Your current ones seem to be a negative influence on you.
varkey 7
Why would you say "completely naked except for a dressing gown"? The completely is superfluous. You could say "wearing nothing but my dressing gown;" the fact is, wearing a dressing gown is at least decent cover, although it's not something people normally go out in public in. Anyway, YDI for making those bad decisions.
kitkatknicknack 12
Maybe you should put down your alcohol, gather your brains in rehab, and stop asking stupid questions OP
the1nfamousflynn 0
Haha this is great